Letters From Screwtape

Looking for Jesus

2010-04-07T14:36:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I was sitting in sacrament meeting in our ward here in Memphis. It was Aleece, Lainey, Lennon, Steph's mom Heidi, and I. Steph and Harris were at home because he had just been born the week before. The sacrament started while Lainey was sitting on my lap. She started up a conversation with me while I was trying to reflect on the Savior. I asked her to make sure she was being reverent and I told her to try to see Jesus in her mind. This quieted her down and I closed my eyes, continuing to think of the Savior myself.

I didn't think anything of what I had told Lainey to do, but a few minutes later she put her hands on my cheeks and quietly said "I'm looking for Jesus, but I can't see him anywhere." It was so sweet the way that she said it to me. I said to her that sometimes Jesus is close to us, but we can't see him. Just because we can't see him doesn't mean he is not there.

What Lainey said to me go me thinking about a talk I heard given by a leader of the church not too long ago. I don't know who gave the talk, but in it they said something along the lines of the parents being responsible for making sure that their children would be able to recognize Jesus when He comes again. I couldn't get that thought out of my mind for quite some times after what happened with Lainey in sacrament meeting.

Let me be clear - Lainey and the rest of our children know what Jesus looks like based on the paintings they have seen of him. As I thought more about this I realized a very simple, but overlooked fact - we did not have a picture of Christ hanging in our home. We have a picture of the First Presidency, of Joseph Smith, and of the Nauvoo Temple - but there was no picture of the Savior on our walls. We used to have one, but it was somewhere in the mess of all our moving.

This all happened right before Easter and I thought that getting a picture of the Savior to hang in our home for the family for Easter honestly be the best gift we could give them. So I ordered one online and went and bought a nice frame for it. On Easter morning after the kids had destroyed their Easter baskets I went into our room and brought out this picture. I told the story of why I was doing this to the kids and Steph (she wasn't in on this gift) and explained to them that I wanted the picture of Jesus to hang in our living room with us because He is part of our family. The kids liked this idea and a few days later I was able to hang up the picture.

When I was a teenager living at home with my parents I wanted to hang posters up on my walls of my favorite musicians. Mom didn't have a problem with me doing this, but she said I had to have a picture of the Savior in my room first. She and Dad hung up a small framed picture of the Savior with a quote by it - "What would Jesus have me do?". I've never really thought much about the fact that the picture was in my room. I did write a song many years ago based on that quote, but I didn't realize until recently that my parents had a different motive to having a picture of Christ in my room. It was to help me recognize the Savior myself, not only when He will return to this earth to rule and reign, but also to recognize His influence in my life. When I look at a picture of Jesus I always have very strong and specific feelings that are associated with him. I recognize those same feelings when I am serving others, bearing my testimony, attending the temple, and loving my family. A picture of the Savior is not simply meant for physical recognition - it is also for spiritual recognition.

Now we have a painting of the Savior hanging in our home, right where we can all see him clearly and frequently throughout the day. I know that by doing this small thing that my children will be blessed in the future. They will be able to see the Savior in our home, as part of our eternal family. They will be able to recognize the physical characteristics of Him, but more importantly, they will recognize the spiritual characteristics that accompany Him and they will be able to recognize those in their everyday lives so that they can be led back to His presence as faithful servants.

If you don't have a picture of the Savior hanging in your home go out and get one. Place the picture somewhere prominent in your home where all can blessed by it. I promise that blessings will come from including the Savior more in your life.

The Second Article of Faith

2010-03-17T13:12:00.001-05:00

"We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression."

The Second Article of Faith is short and to the point. It simply states that we do not have to worry about the transgression that Adam committed, but we do have to worry about being punished for our own. We cannot escape our own punishment. There is no way around that. But what is this punishment that is mentioned? What exactly is sin? We must be completely aware of what these things are in order to understand.

In James 4:17 we read "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." Sin is not doing good. Sin is willful disobedience to God's commandments. According to the Doctrine and Covenants we know that "God cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance". God will not tolerate sin. Sin makes us dirty in a spiritual sense. If we are not clean we cannot be in the presence of God. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't want to stand in God's presence if I was not clean! We read in the scriptures about wanting to hide under rocks and mountains rather than stand unclean in God's presence. I completely understand that thought process.

The Lord said in Exodus "Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book." Being a teacher I often have students that move during the middle of the school year. Once they are gone I cross their names out of my grade book. When I do this I take a big fat tipped sharpie and cross out their name so that I can no longer read it, and I continue across the page, crossing out all of the grades they received while in my class. I imagine this happening with the Lord's book of us. When we sin and don't repent the Lord crosses our names out so that he can no longer read them. When a name is blotted out that person is no longer numbered among the people of God, the name is no longer on the records of the church - that person, by their own selfish and foolish decisions has cut themself off from the Lord. No one has made them do it except for themself. Even though that person has removed the Lord from their life, the Lord has not removed them from his love.

However, if we repent, its our sins that are blotted out. The sharpie crosses them out while our name remains readable. We are always known by the Lord. He will never forsake us, even when we have done the most horrible things. It doesn't matter if we have turned our backs on family members or indulged in addictions that pollute both the mind and the body - the Lord still knows us intimately. He knows our thoughts and our intentions. He is always looking out for us.

Remember, there are two types of sins - sins of ommission and sins of commission. Omission sins are those in which we fail do something we've been commanded to do by the Lord, such as paying tithing. When are asked to do something at work and we don't do it, we can be fired. It's the same concept. The Lord has given us a TO DO list. When we don't follow that list we are committing sins of omission.

The Lord has also given us a DON'T DO list. When we ignore that list and take part in doing those things we are then committing our sins of commission. The 10 commandments have a few "Thou shalt not" things to follow. Thou shalt not kill. Good advice, even if you don't follow the teachings of the Gospel. All of these things may seem blaringly obvious to many people, but to others - it just is confusing.

I always tell my kids that if they do what I or my wife tell them to do they will never go wrong. The same is true with the Lord. If we do whatever he asks to do or not do, we will never go wrong. Will we ever get hurt? Sure! Will we ever suffer? Of course! By doing whatever the Lord asks us to do will life be easier? NO! This may not seem like good reasoning to follow the Lord's commandments and abstain from sin, but look at the life of the prophet Joseph Smith.

One of the great things about this article of faith is that it also enforces the idea of free agency that we have all been given. Men will punished for their own sins. No matter what another person does I cannot be punished for their wrongs. We are each given our own agency to do as we please. What it all really boils down to is this - do we want to sin and be punished for it, or avoid the punishment and just abstain from sin? The choice is yours to make.

Preparing for the Worst By Doing the Best

2009-08-21T13:33:00.002-05:00

When we think about disasters in our lives we tend to think outwardly - natural disasters, job loss, economic disasters, death, or family issues. All of those things are awful. Homes and lives can be lost in natural disasters. During times of job loss or economy failures there are many other things that can happen, including losing a home, stress on our health, strain in family relationships. All of these things are terrible things to endure and we have all dealt with one or more of these things at some point in our lives. I would not wish any of these even on my worst enemy because I understand the struggling and suffering that accompany these situations. I still remember losing my job with the Davis Arts Council in Layton. I had a very pregnant wife, a small child and nothing else. The only thing that helped Steph and I get through that time was support of our families. Some of them stepped forward and offered a lot to us to help us get through it all. And we did.

In Elder's Quorum a few months ago we had a fantastic lesson on this subject. However, it was not about these disasters that I have laid out. It was about four other disasters that are in many ways worse than what has been said previously. I take most of this straight from a talk given by President Benson in 1986. The four other disasters are of an inward nature that can destroy us in ways that physical disasters never could. They are: despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression. These four disasters are Satan's greatest tools, especially in today's world.

Despair is simply put, the loss of hope. Hope is the want for better things. Discouragement means to dishearten or frighten. Again it deals with hope. According the Bible dictionary hope is the confident expectation of and longing for the promised blessings of righteousness. Despondency is feeling or showing profound hopelessness or gloom. With despondency the people around you see it. It shows in your demeanor and even on your face. People can see that you have something affecting you. Depression is sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Depression is probably the hardest of the four to deal with because it can last the longest.

All four of these are a struggle to deal with, and sadly, they usually accompany each other. It is a struggle - there is no denying that. It is especially hard in today's world. Every where you look there is negativity throughout the world. It is difficult to even watch the news at night because of these things. There is the economy, sickness and disease, evil things and people of the world. Often I wish I could be as Nephi and shudder at the very sight of sin. How do we struggle to keep our heads above the darkened waters of today’s world?

Abraham Lincoln once said "When I do good I feel good, and when I do bad I feel bad." What a simple and elegant statement! I can’t think of an individual that cannot understand what that phrase means. If you asked the people of the world they would understand and probably agree with it. Most would even say that they do it! A lot of people live their lives in such a manner. People function on their emotions. It was drives people of the world to do what they do. The overall problem lies within what the world defines as “good” and “bad”.

Look at what the world considers good in our day. There are few people who feel that premarital sex is bad. I remember hearing people ask me before I was married why Stephanie and I were waiting until after we were married. Most of the questions posed to me were of this nature: “How can you know if you are compatible?” It was easy to explain to people that the biggest reason that we were waiting was because we wanted to be worthy to enter into the temple and be sealed for time and all eternity. If we decided not to wait we would not have been worthy, and then, unable to enter the temple. We didn’t worry about that compatibility because we knew that the blessings found inside the temple were far more important.

Language of the world today has taken a turn for the worse. It’s disheartening to be at school and listening to 1^st and 2^nd graders using language that is found in the sleaziest of establishments across the world. Some have no idea what they are saying, but some do. Very few people feel any wrong in littering their vernacular with profanities and obscenities of the most rank kind. In stating this I will be the first one to say that a few short years ago my thoughts were caught up with the way of the world’s. I felt no wrong in using colorful language because it helped me to “express who I really was”. As I think back to the language I used in high school I am quite ashamed because of the bad example I was to those around me, and for the damage control that had to be done by the youth of my stake because of my actions. The need for my “expression” was nothing but a public display of the lack of my intelligence. I see that now. I didn’t know “who I really was” at that point in my life. In later years I have come full circle to remember that I am a son of our Heavenly Father. I am a representative of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a priesthood holder and a father and a husband. There is nothing to be gained from such putrid and stained language. I have become rather fond of words now, and I am always trying to learn of truly colorful ways in which to express myself. Obscenities are not colorful – they are sour and dank, but in today’s world we are continually surrounded with them.

The list could continue on with pornography, homosexuality, alcohol, drug use, theft, embezzlement, lying, divorce, smoking – the list of what the world considers good far outweighs the bad.

The world has begun to think that the idea of a family, meaning a man and woman legally married raising their children, is not such a need anymore. It’s been given a “what’s the point” attitude. Few people see the benefit of it anymore. “Why marry someone if you are just going to get divorced in a few short years?” “You don’t have to be married to have sex.” “My kids will be just fine with my wife raising them. They don’t need me.” Oh, the frailties and foolishness of people. They don’t realize that by destroying their current family they are more than likely, but not always, destroying their children’s future family. We are definitely products of our surroundings and if that is how a child is raised, that is what they tend to grow up being. It is hard for children to deal with such things. I have literally been laughed at in some of my classes by different students, who when misbehaving I have said “I’m going to call your mother” and then had the student only reply “Good luck finding her” or “If you get in touch with her tell her hi from me”. That is no exaggeration. They don’t understand the concept of a family unit and how beneficial it can be in their lives. This all falls back on the parents and their own selfish desires in their lives.

A simple thing like religion is frowned upon anymore as well. 15% of Americans do not identify themselves with any religion. That number may seem small, but it is up from 14.2% in 2001 and 8.2% in 1990. 27% of Americans believe that religion is old-fashioned and out of date. 34% of Americans would like to see religion have less of an influence in this nation, while only 24% of Americans would like to religion have more of an influence in this nation. These numbers have been steadily increasing year after year for the last 30 years. It says a lot about the direction that this nation is headed. The worst is yet ahead.

We as members of the church understand that these are the last days before the Savior’s return to the earth. We know that darker roads are ahead than the ones we are travailing right now. We know that things will get worse. This is not a pessimistic outlook – it is an outlook of faith. We recognize the signs that are found in the scriptures. We have faith that the Savior will return one day soon and by having the faith that that even will occur, we also have the faith the hard times of the future, as well as the good times, will come. We are preparing for such times. Satan’s forces grow stronger every day. His legions grow mighty in number. The whispers of sin are getting to be louder and more deceptive. We recognize these things and we are not afraid. We have a prophet who leads and guides us. We have our scriptures to turn to, as well as our patriarchal blessings. We have prayer and priesthood blessings to help us through the emotional disasters of despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression. We truly have no reason to let these four tools of the devil break our eternal stride.

If any of these disasters are plaguing you, turn to the Lord. Find a quiet, secluded spot and pour out your heart to him. He is listening. He is actually just waiting for you to turn to him so that he can provide the comfort that you are so earnestly seeking. Pray out loud. Many times in my life I have gone for a drive in my car to a peaceful spot where I would most likely be undisturbed and I have vocally prayed to my Father in Heaven for the guidance that was necessary in my life at that time. It always helped me feel the love of our Heavenly Father and it reminded me of what he wanted to do. Pray by yourself. Pray with your spouse. Pray with your family. If you are unsure of what the Lord would have you do, ask him. Many of us driving lost through the neighborhoods of life and will not “get out and ask for directions”. Just do it so you can get back on the correct path.

If you have the opportunity to receive a priesthood blessing from a worthy priesthood holder, do so. The wonderful thing about blessings is there has been no limit placed up the number or frequency of blessings that you receive. Many of us fall far short of what we should have received. Never be afraid to ask for the blessing you are in need of, especially if you do not feel worthy to receive said blessing. Remember, the Lord never turns his back on us – it’s we who turn our backs on him.

If there is a temple in your area – GO! There are very few acceptable excuses for a temple recommend holder to not attend the temple at least monthly. There is a peace to be found within the walls of the temple that cannot be obtained anywhere else on the earthly sphere. If you are not able to attend the temple at this time make the proper repairs to your life that will allow you to receive your temple recommend and then spend as much time there as you can. You will bless so many others by doing so, and in turn you will bless yourself. We know that the Savior walks the halls of His holy temples. Go there and be nearer to him.

Satan has the ‘4Ds’ – despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression. The Lord, through his prophet President Hinckley, gave us ‘6Bs’, and later added 3 more to them – be grateful, be smart, be clean, be true, be humble, be prayerful, be positive, be still, be involved. These ‘9Bs’ are the perfect defense to the '4Ds'. If we are nurturing our lives using the ‘9Bs’ there will be no time in our lives for the ‘4Ds’ to take root and start weeding us out. We always come out ahead. We will always remember who we are and what we stand for. We will lengthen our stride. We will turn from bad to good and from good to better, and eventually, from better to best. We will always have the Lord there to “lead me, guide me, walk beside me”.

The First Article of Faith

2009-08-20T15:26:00.008-05:00

“We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.”

This is the First Article of Faith for our church, but why is this specifically the first article? In most situations where there are things that are listed it done in order of importance. Now, I’m not saying that the thirteenth article of faith is less important than the first, but for the rest of the world that looks in upon our religion this first article of faith is the most important for them to see. This article of faith establishes the fact that we, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, are Christians. This fact can be stated no clearer. How people can say that we are not Christians I will never understand. It is right there – “We believe … in His Son, Jesus Christ”.

This Article of Faith clearly sets the stage for our religion because not only does it state that we believe in the Savior, but it also states that we believe in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost as three separate individuals. Many religions claim that they are one in the same; however we claim that the Godhead is three very separate and very distinct persons. Our scriptures tell us that the Godhead is one in purpose – not in body. Their purpose is to forth the immortality and eternal life of man. It is the same as a husband and wife being one in purpose with raising their children. In our home my wife and I are one because we both want our children to grow and develop properly so that they can be functional in society, while living every aspect of the Gospel and being temple worthy members of the Church. That is a generalized statement for my wife and me because it entails so much, but I am simply trying to get my point across.

The Prophet Joseph Smith declared: “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it”. Again, we believe in Jesus Christ. He is the backbone of our religion. If we did not believe in the Savior there would be nothing for us to do. There would be need for us to attend church because there would be no sacrament to take. There would be no need for us to have temples because there would be no need for redeeming the dead. There would be no need for the Book of Mormon because it’s another testament of Jesus Christ. There would be no need for the Bible either. Our church wouldn’t even have a name if we didn’t believe in the Savior’s role.

But we do believe in the Savior and we have all of these things because we believe in him. We do believe that he was born of Mary in a lowly stable because no place would take Mary and Joseph in. We do believe that the angels sang at his birth and that a new star appeared in the sky. We believe that he was found teaching in the temple in Jerusalem by Mary and Joseph at the age of 12. We believe that he grew and waxed strong. We believe that Jesus came unto John the Baptist and was baptized by immersion. This was not done for the remission of his sins, for he had none. He did this to provide us an example. We believe that he spent three years of his life teaching people the correct way to live their lives in order to return to their Father in Heaven. We believe that the Savior performed many miracles, such as the fishes and the loaves, the healing of the blind and the sick, and the raising of the dead. We believe that the Savior stepped foot into the Garden of Gethsemane knowing full well what awaited him there, that he knelt in prayer, was left alone both physically and spiritually, and then took upon himself all of our sins, the weight of which actually caused him to bleed from every pore. He felt every pain, every sorrow, every ounce of loneliness and difficulty that you or I have ever felt in our entire lives. He did this for every soul that had been or ever would be. This unspeakable pain was all done willing. We believe that he was betrayed by one of his own with a kiss. We believe that he healed the ear of one of the soldiers who came to take him to his accusers. We believe that he stood before the people and was condemned to death by crucifixion. We believe that he was scourged and whipped to the point of death, only to be made to carry his own instrument of death up to the summit of Golgotha, where he would willing lay down upon that cross so that nails could be driven through his hands, feet, and wrists. We believe that he was hung on the cross and continually mocked by those who were in attendance to witness this heinous act. We believe that as he hung on the cross in agonizing pain, looking down upon those who put him in this place, he asked his Father to forgive them because they had no idea what they were really doing or who they were doing this to. We believe that a soldier pierced his side with a spear while he hung upon the cross already to the point of death. We believe that the Savior realized his mission thus far had been completed, acknowledged to Father in Heaven that “It is finished” and then he willingly gave up the ghost. He didn’t die – he removed himself from his body. But this was not the end. We believe that on the third day the Savior took his body up again and broke the bands of death. The Savior was the only person with the ability to do so. He knew his role required that this act be done, so he came back. He showed himself to those closest to him. He let them feel the wounds in his hands and feet. He continued to teach them. He organized his church with his apostles, knowing full well that this Gospel would be taken from the earth within a short time. Once this was done he ascended into Heaven.

At some point after this the Savior descended from Heaven and showed Himself to the people on the American continent. He taught them the same things that were spoken of in the Old World. He organized his church in its fullness here in the Americas. He taught them the sacrament. He prayed for the people here. He blessed all the little children. He let these people feel the wound that he had received from his crucifixion. He gave unto them many words and teachings which they could live their lives by. Again, he ascended into Heaven after this time.

Over a thousand years passed before the Savior came to a small grove of trees in upstate New York, but he didn't come alone this time. Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost all were present for Joseph Smith's humble prayer that took place 190 years ago this coming spring. They were all there and each testified of each other in that sacred event. Father in Heaven confirmed the fact that he was pleased with the Savior and what he had done during his short time on Earth. We believe that Joseph Smith did see both the Father and the Son standing above him in the air. They spoke with him, even calling him by name. They knew who he was and why he had come to them in holy prayer. Again, the Savior taught and this time he taught Joseph that there was no church on the earth at that time that carried on the authority that he had left with his apostles before his ascension into Heaven. All that once was needed to be restored, and the boy prophet would soon be the vessel of this great and marvelous work.

The Savior appeared once again to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdrey in the Kirtland Temple many years later. He appeared in the temple and both Joseph and Oliver testified of this. They spoke of how the Savior looked and sounded as He spoke. They said his eyes were like fire, his hair was as white as snow, his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun, and his voice sounded as the rushing of great waters. They spoke of His acceptance of the newly built temple. He testified of who He was and what He had done for all. He spoke of the many rich blessings that would come because of the building of His house.

"We believe in God, the Eternal Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost." I know this. I believe this. I can be no clearer in the sharing of my testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. These three individuals do exist. They are a very real part of my life. I would be completely lost and helpless without Their merciful and loving influence in my life. I know they live and I love them dearly. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Love and forgiveness

2009-08-04T14:18:00.008-05:00

Before I start this I have to apologize for not keeping up with this blog. My summer was long and busy and I never really had much time for reflection and thought. I plan on doing much better with this.

All day long I have had a scripture running through my head. I've thought a great deal over it and feel somewhat inclined to write about it. The scripture is found in Matthew 5:46 -

"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have you? Do not even the publican do the same?"

This verse comes from the Sermon on the Mount in which the Savior is clarifying many of the teachings that had been in existence since at least the time of Moses. Previous to this verse the Savior had said:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." After this is when he says "For if ye love them which love you, what reward have you?"

I've heard this a thousand times before. Instead of being mean to those who are mean to me I should love them. That idea is easy to understand. It's the scripture that I've quoted in verse 46 that keeps coming back to me. To put it in English the Savior is saying "Really? You think that to love someone who already loves you is so hard? Anyone can do that! Look at the publicans over there - you detest them, you excommunicate them for becoming publicans because they are doing the taxes for the Romans - they can love those who love them. That's the best you can do?" The trial that is our refiner's fire is in loving those whom we cannot stand - and showing them that we love them so that they know it.

It is hard to love someone who may have wronged you. One of my biggest pet peeve is a bad driver. There are millions of them out there. When someone cuts me off or exhibits their poor driving skills, my blood starts to boil. I literally fight the need to jump out of my seat and chase them down. That is the right way to do it - under the old law that Jesus clarified during the Sermon on the Mount. Now he wants me to love this person. He would rather that I get out of the car and go put my arms around this horrific driver and let them know that I love them. He wants me to let go of the bitter feelings that I have towards that person. I ask - what is the good in that? Am I saying that I don't mind that this person is a bad driver? Am I embracing the idea of bad driving? Should I start to drive as bad as those I see around me? Of course not.

According to the scriptures, as people forgive each other, they treat one another with Christlike love and have no bad feelings toward those who have offended them. Notice how love comes first in this statement. Unless love is present there can be no forgiveness. How can someone actually say that they have no bad feelings toward someone who has offended them if there is no love towards that person as well? It is literally the same as trying to start a fire without a match, flint and steel, or some other fire starting device. The fuel is there - but there is no ignition. Love is the ignition of forgiveness. If you remove those bad feelings toward whomever has offended you without applying love those bad feelings will return. In fact, they never truly go away. They are hidden just out of sight in your heart, but easily accessible to revisit.

President Monson once told a story by Samuel T. Whitman about an iron wedge that was left in the crook of a walnut tree by a young boy who forgot to take it to the shed. It lay there for years as the tree grew around it. One night an ice storm brought down three of the trees large branches. The tree was completely unbalanced by the loss of those limbs and the remaining part of the tree toppled to the ground. This mighty tree had been completely destroyed because of one small iron wedge. An iron wedge that didn't allow the limb fibers of the tree to grow together properly.

There are two things that stick out to me about this story. First, notice that it wasn't until a storm came that the tree toppled. The tree was fine and appeared to be strong when the storms were not raging. It wasn't until the storm pounded against the tree that it was destroyed. Much like our lives we each can appear to be strong and sturdy until life's storm rages against us, and the "iron wedge" in our hearts will cause us to topple and be destroyed. Our true characters are only revealed when we show how we stand in a storm. Second, the wedge in the tree was an iron wedge. Iron is one of the heaviest and most dense metals upon the face of the earth. Think about the weight of carrying around an iron wedge in your heart. It is hard work to carry that wedge (which is the equivalent of a grudge). It is tiring. It slows you down. It does not feel good. Where is the benefit of this grudge? What is the cause of the grudge? There is a one word answer for that - pride.

We must remember that forgiveness is not just a good thing for the person who has wronged us. President Uchtdorf said -

"Extending forgiveness is a precondition to receiving forgiveness. For our own good, we need the moral courage to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. Never is the soul nobler and more courageous than when we forgive. This includes forgiving ourselves. Each of us is under a divinely spoken obligation to reach out with pardon and mercy and to forgive one another. There is a great need for this Christlike attribute in our families, in our marriages, in our wards and stakes, in our communities, and in our nations".

How true this is! Is there a greater feeling than forgiving someone? Short of getting married or having a child there is nothing grander than the "iron wedge" of pride to be wretched from our hearts and for the healing fibers of love to start taking hold and repairing the long time damage that has been done. This healing may take time, but the healing cannot begin until the wedge is removed.

I have wedges to remove in my heart. Until I do so there will be no healing. I am nothing short of a publican at this point because I am great at loving those who love me back, but my enemies get no love from me. I am not gaining anything through only loving those who love me back. It's like developing an unnecessary skill. What good is not loving my enemies going to bring to me? Nothing. If I start to love them then I will be able to continually develop the ability to love everyone, regardless of who they are, and that is Christlike love. That is what the Savior is saying when the sun rises on the evil and the good and the rain falleth on the just and unjust - he means that there is no one who is undeserving of his love or our love. If we want the Savior to look at us with any degree of forgiveness and love we must first be the ones to show him that we understand what forgiveness and love are by showing it to everyone we come in contact with.

Throw out your heavy iron wedges. Love those who you feel you can't love. Forgive those who do not deserve it. Look at the Savior's ultimate example when he said to those me who actually drove nails through the palms of his hands and feet - "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do". If the Savior can do it, we have to do it, but only if we want to return to him. These things I know with all my heart. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Comfort of the Spirit

2009-04-16T15:38:00.004-05:00

It's wonderful to be able to have the Spirit with you guiding and directing you for good, but it is also a blessing to have the Spirit with you comforting you and speaking peace to your heart. It is important for us to share these experiences with others because the experiences can lift those in need. Our experiences can warm the lonely in heart and strengthen those whose knees are faltering.

We are told that fear is of the devil. He thrives on it, wielding it as one of his greatest weapons. he constantly puts things in our lives to be fearful of - people, sickness, death, the economy, family relationships just to name a few. When we are filled with fear we struggle to feel the Spirit because that fear can be so overwhelming that nothing else can penetrate our senses. Satan knows this. He even knows specifically what we are fearful of. People often overlook the fact that Satan remembers us from our preexistent state. He remembers who we were and what we did and what we can become. He almost knows us better than we know ourselves and he uses that against us daily.

As we battle against Satan we can lose some of that fear that will hinder us in our eternal progression. Once that fear dissipates our spiritual senses can awaken to be more in tune with the promptings of the Spirit, allowing us to achieve more in our lives than we could without it - and we don't have to be afraid anymore.

In my own life I've been trying to remove those things that will not allow me to be in tune with the Spirit. Not only that, but I have been doing those things which will allow me to invite the Spirit more into my life. It's not easy. Sometimes I have a craving to listen to some music that would definitely drive the Spirit away. For those of you that know me, you know that is a huge struggle for me.

In the priesthood session of General Conference President Monson told the priesthood brother to do three things daily - study diligently, pray fervently, and live righteously. I've really be trying to work on those, but the one that I have spent the most time on is praying fervently. One thing I have been praying fervently for in my prayers is to be more in tune with the Spirit in my life - for my heart and mind to be more understanding of the gently promptings that the Spirit may offer to me.

Today I received a letter at work telling me that I was not going to be rehired for the 2009-2010 school year. Last year and I received the same letter and I was so twisted up over it and what I was going to do to support my family. Luckily I was able to get everything sorted out before the beginning of the school year this year and I was rehired. Today when I opened the letter there was no fear that accompanied this letter. In fact, I knew that there was nothing to be concerned about because I have already taken care of everything to make sure that I can work next year. I knew that there was nothing to be afraid of because the Spirit told me so. I felt prompted to head down to the school board and speak with my contact down there about the letter just so she could explain what it meant. Luckily I did not have a class during this time and I was able to drive over there and speak with her. She let me know that the letter is poorly worded and what it means is that I will not be able to teach next year with my teaching license from this year because it expires August 31, 2009. I will be receiving a new license before that for the 2009-2010 school year that will enable me to teach next year.

As I was driving back to my school after this conversation I reflected on the fact that the Spirit did tell me that there was nothing to be concerned about. The Spirit told me the truth because It cannot lie. I followed Its promptings and was able to understand exactly what I needed to, and there was no fear. Following the promptings of the Spirit now allows us to be more receptive to future promptings. It's not rocket science - when you do what you are told you will be rewarded, and I feel richly blessed. I know that the Spirit can guide each and every one of us, as long as we allow It to, and there is no limit as to what can be accomplished with the guidance of the Spirit.

Thank you all!!

2009-03-12T11:36:00.002-05:00

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful birthday and the awesome gifts. After the rough day I had at work yesterday it made things so much better. I appreciate all your love and support and the phone calls. It was nice to talk with you all. I love all of you!

The Thirteen Articles of Faith

2009-02-23T10:08:00.003-06:00

It seems that here in Memphis when I have a coworker or someone else start talking to me about the church one of the typical questions that is always asked is something along the lines of "What does your church believe in that makes it different from other religions?" There are a whole slew of different answers I have given when asked that question ranging from "a living prophet" to "the Book of Mormon". When I think about how I answer, the I answer I usually give depends on what I've been thinking about.

Last Sunday there was a talk given by one of our ward members on the Articles of Faith. It hit me during his talk that from now on when someone asks me what we as Mormons believe I don't have to search for an answer to respond with. There are 13 answers that I could give. What do each of the Articles of Faith start off with (minus the "claim" one)? "WE BELIEVE..."! I actually feel quite stupid that I have never thought about this simple thing before. Each of the Articles of Faith delivers a very simple and straightforward look into what we as Latter-Day Saints believe. They are easy to understand and do not delve into doctrine that is "too deep" for questioners to understand.

As I've pondered over this the last week I've come to realize that Joseph Smith wrote the Articles of Faith for us to have as a great missionary tool. The speaker last Sunday quoted some leader of the church (I believe Bruce R. McConkie) who had said something along the lines that we as members of the church don't know the Thirteen Articles of Faith like we should. President Kimball said that "you are always prepared with a sermon when you know the Articles of Faith." In the October 1978 New Era there is an article by President Kimball titled "Articles of Faith: Know What We Believe" that I recommend for reading. It is a great story.

With Aleece learning the Articles of Faith this year in preschool I have been able to brush up on them, but that is all I have been doing - brushing up. I should be studying them and understanding them more, through cross-referenced scriptures and other Gospel teachings. I should, as President Kimball stated, be able to always have "a sermon" because I know and understand the Articles of Faith. I have printed off the Articles of Faith at school and taped them up next to my desk for me to look over and ponder every day. My hope to re-memorize them, learn them, and know them. I hope to be able to share some more thoughts on each Article of Faith throughout the remainder of the year. The Articles of Faith truly are scripture. I believe that Joseph Smith wrote these through the power of inspiration and that we should look upon them as the word of God. They are just as important to be familiar with as the many other wonderful words of God that we have available to us.

So now I challenge you: Do you know the Thirteen Articles of Faith?

"Good. The Lord Needs You."

2008-12-04T10:01:00.003-06:00

I was saddened at the end of my day on Tuesday to hear that Elder Wirthlin had passed away. It's strange to have all these great men move on to the next stage of life. Elder Wirthlin was sustained an apostle in the October conference following my birth. I just found that out this week. It put a new perspective on it for me that he's been an apostle for as long as I have been alive.

I had an opportunity to meet Elder Wirthlin once. About 12 years ago in Yuma, there was a Tri-Stake conference and he was the presiding authority there. I had just sent my mission papers in and was awaiting my call. I don't remember much about the conference except that I was singing in a special choir and we sang a wonderful arrangement of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief". I don't even remember what Elder Wirthlin said. After the conference was over he stood on the stand for a very long time to shake the hands of any of the members that came up to greet him. I hopped in line with one of my friend's younger brother, who was about 12 years old. Now we all know I'm short and I have a baby face. That was made very evident to me as this deacon and I approached Elder Wirthlin. A smile lit up his face and he said "Oh the deacons have come to see me!" I kind of laughed and said "He's a deacon, but I'm not. I just sent in my mission papers." He started to laugh pretty hard - harder than I thought apostles were allowed to laugh - and then he sobered up and grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eye and said "Good. The Lord needs you." We spoke for another few seconds and I moved on.

I've been thinking about that one comment from him. "The Lord needs you." That doesn't just apply to me as a missionary back in 1996. It applies to me now as a member missionary, a worthy husband, a loving father, an honest person... the list could go on. "The Lord needs you." It doesn't even strictly apply to me. It goes for everyone. In these latter days the Lord does need us. He needs us to stand up for the right things in a world that is saturated with evil. He needs us to push forth in honesty when the world thrives on lies and misleading others. He needs us to be examples of the Savior for those who have no idea how to be a decent person anymore because they never learned. He needs us to be charitable and kind in a world that values things of the earth more than the things of heaven. He needs us to be the good in a world that calls good evil and evil good.

We often think about how much we need the Lord, but we rarely think about how much the Lord needs us to push forth his work. It is easy to think sometimes that "The Lord will make it happen - whether I am involved or not". Maybe you are the one key person that will make that difference in a person's life by doing your home or visiting teaching, by teaching a lesson in Sunday School or by simply showing the pure love of Christ to a person who is down. We don't know what impact we will have on those around us by the small and simple things that we do, but remember - the Lord has us do those things for Him because He needs us to.

For the record, I need the Lord. I probably weary Him with my constant prayers for my wife, children, and extended family. There is not a day that goes by where I am not thinking about how much I need the Lord. There are very few days that go by with me thinking about how much the Lord needs me. Of all the words I ever heard Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin speak, the greatest lesson I ever learned from him was found in five simple words - "Good. The Lord needs you."

I have a firm testimony of the calling of Elder Wirthlin as an apostle of Jesus Christ. The Lord always calls those that He needs most, and I believe that with Elder Wirthlin. He was a fantastic man that will be sorely missed by me at the next General Conference. At the same time, I am excited to see who the Lord needs most to fill Elder Wirthlin's shoes. I know that whoever that man is will be called of God and be there to testify that Jesus is the Christ and that he lives. I love my Savior - especially during this time of year. My heart is filled with gratitude for the things I see around me. I love this Gospel and the truths found within it. This is the Lord's work. "No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing." It is so evident in everything we see. I leave this testimony of my Savior and of the lesson that I was taught many years ago, and I do so in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Tolerance...

2008-11-13T11:15:00.002-06:00

I read this on a blog column (http://mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=4740) by the author Orson Scott Card a few weeks ago - "Tolerance implies disagreement -- it means that even though we don't agree with or approve of each others beliefs or actions, we can still live together amicably." He was writing about this regarding Proposition 8 in California. I thought that he said that in a very wise way. It saddens me to see and hear so much of what is going on in the aftermath of Proposition 8 being passed.

I am not normally one to get political. In fact, I cannot stand politics, but I do try to support our leaders and elected officials. I don't always agree with them and what they say, but that is one of the beauties of life. What I am writing about is not intended to be a political point of view. It is meant to be a human point of view. There is so much in the world today that everyone disagrees on - politics, religion, family values, what is wrong versus what is right... the list is endless. We all have been given the right to our opinions. That is part of our free agency that was granted to us by our Father in Heaven. We can think and act for ourselves... and disagree with others. There is nothing wrong with that! However, when the disagreement turns into something other than a disagreement - there is a problem.

I've read this last week about many LDS churches being vandalised throughout the country. I've read about protests going on outside of LDS churches and temples. I read today about a Book of Mormon that was found burning at a church in Littleton, Colorado. I watched a commercial on youtube that portrayed LDS missionaries in a very negative way. It's truly awful to hear about these things because they have gone beyond disagreeing. On the other side of the coin, if I heard about members of our church vandalising homes of those against Prop 8 or missionaries actually doing what was portrayed in the commercial shown in California, I would still think that was a terrible thing that I would not be supportive of because that would be taking it beyond the disagreement. There would be no tolerance in those instances. Negative attacks, no matter which side they came from, could not be something I would agree with.

There is a letter circulating the internet right now that was very educational for me. It prompted me to write this post. I am going to repost it here because I thought it was a very informative letter with verified facts in it. Believe it or not, I did research the numbers presented in this letter because I was not going to post something that was falsified.

I have friends that I grew up with that are gay. They are still my friends. They know that I don't agree with their lifestyle, just as I know they don't agree with mine. We understand that and don't let that come between us. It has always been that way and I'm sure that it will continue to be that way for us. We are (get ready!) tolerant of each other and our own personal views. That's the only way that we can be friends and not let our differences come between us. I have not and will not bash anyone and because of that I expect the same courtesy. I just don't have to agree and condone the things that I don't agree with. There are ways to get along without hate.

Again, this is not a hate post. I'm not bashing anyone at all. I'm just trying to make sense of some unsensible acts. As a member of the church I understand what it is like to be bashed and thrashed. My only hope is that all this negativity will end - that we can all learn that we can exist together in this country - this world - and not agree with each other, but respect each other.

Kevin Hamilton's Letter on Proposition 8 and the Mormon Church

Dear Friends,

In the aftermath of the recent election, we may find ourselves oddly on the defensive regarding our support for the Yes on Proposition 8 cause. Our young people have been especially subject to mean-spirited comments by high school friends and teachers. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We did nothing wrong. In fact, we did everything that a civic-minded American can and should do. I have put together a few facts that help me to appreciate our position better. For example:

1. Mormons make up less than 2 percent of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.Mormon voters were less than 5 percent of the yes vote.

2. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6 percent of the yes vote and 2.4 percent of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8.
7. African-Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70 percent of black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8.

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims -- all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or herself. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The church did not violate the principal of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States' Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof?" The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The church as always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak outon an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars and worse.

The fact is, we simply did what Americans do -- we spoke up, we campaigned and we voted.Hold your heads up high -- you did a great job on this most important cause. We will have more opportunities in the future to participate in our democratic process. Let's remember the lessons learned and do an even better job next time.

These are my personal opinions and thoughts; any errors are mine and in no way reflect official church policy or doctrine.

Thanks,
Kevin Hamilton

The Power of Prayer

2008-10-29T10:07:00.003-05:00

On Saturday I was quite stressed. I had just started a new class at Union and the homework was piling up because we were going over the syllabus and finding out what were going to be doing. My lunch break for that class was going to be rough because I had to go home and get the girl's TV and the cable boxes to take over to the new house and get set up because the cable guy was coming over and Steph wasn't going to be able to get that stuff and the kids. I was also concerned about getting our stuff moved to the new house. I wanted to get us into it to sleep that night, but I had no plans with anyone to help move our beds and big items. I didn't think I was going to find anybody available that day because there were stake meetings all afternoon. As I was driving home during my lunch I said a quick prayer. I just asked Heavenly Father to please help us be able to get moved easily.
No sooner had I said amen then my phone rang. It was a local number that I didn't recognize. I normally don't answer my phone if I don't know who it is, but I felt prompted to answer it. It was Jason Fraley, a recent convert to our ward. He was calling to see if I needed help with my moving that day. Of course I said yes, and he and I moved about five truck loads over that afternoon and evening. He was a Godsend.
There are few times that we are given the opportunity to see the Lord work His miracles immediately. Most times He answers our prayers over a long period of time, and even then we don't fully recognize His hand in our lives. This was special for me because it was an immediate blessing. It was also special for me because it gave me an opportunity to teach Aleece about the power of prayer. It solidified her speaking part in the Primary program on Sunday - "I can pray to Heavenly Father anytime, anywhere. I can and so can you." She was able to see that her statement is so very true. It strengthened my testimony again of the power of prayer.
No matter where we are or what we are doing, we can pray to our Father in Heaven to guide us and comfort us in whatever we need. I've been able to use this in the past for everything from overcoming my emotional frailties to strengthening my faith to finding lost car keys or getting a flat tire fixed. Prayer is so important for us to utilize. "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings and he will direct thee for good." There is nothing too great or small to take before the Lord. I love being taught these principles everyday. It strengthens my testimony and strengthens my membership in the Lord's church. I hope that we can all rely on prayer. If you don't feel like praying, get on your knees and do it. If you haven't prayed for years don't make yourself miss out on the blessings of Heaven any longer. Praying will not hurt. It will take away the hurt.

Check out this website

2008-10-09T11:13:00.002-05:00

Today I was reading an article on the Mormon Times about a photographer from Arizona that started a new project a few years ago on the life of the Savior. He takes live action pictures of different events in Christ's life. It is very moving and fills you with the Spirit. The website is www.reflectionsofchrist.org and I highly recommend it to anyone that needs or wants to have their testimony of the Savior strengthened. You have to register on the site to watch the videos, but that's no big deal. There are some fantastic shots on there that really got me teary. Some of the videos were great to watch too. There is a definite Spirit in this man's work and I hope it continues to work as a missionary tool.

What do you see?

2008-10-08T10:08:00.004-05:00

Today in my classes I am having my students watch "Mary Poppins" because I have had a cold for the past week and I seriously cannot sing. Today while I was watching the movie I was realizing the fantastic lines and words of wisdom from the movie. The line that jumped out at me today was "Sometimes the people that we love most, through no fault of their own, can't see past the end of their nose." There were two things that struck me most about that phrase. The first was that it can happen to anyone, including those that we love most. The second was that, sometimes it happens to these people that we love most and they don't even know it.

That got me thinking - when we see this happening to those around us in life we should not be the one to point it out to them in a manner that is demeaning or negative. We need to help them understand in a loving manner BECAUSE we love them most. If we blame them in an unkind way then we are destroying the love that we have for that person. We are, in turn, not seeing past the end of OUR own noses. Isn't it funny how that works out? Usually the problems we see in others are the very problems that we are struggling to overcome ourselves. While this may seem like a difficult situation, I believe that this presents us with a great opportunity.

It is so hard to deal with something difficult on our own. The loss of a loved one, the addiction of a destructive vice, the lack of patience in your life, or shortcomings you make as a member of the church - these are all problems that are dealt with. It will be so much better to go through these with the help of our loved ones than on our own. Will it make it easier? Most certainly. One of the great things about the relationship that Steph and I have is that when one of us is struggling (and it's me more often than not!) the other one takes the reins and lifts the other up. When we were living in Utah and I lost my job it was really hard for Steph. She was pregnant with Lainey, worried about finances and insurance, and struggling. It was hard for me too, but for some reason I was blessed with the strength to be optimistic in a situation when I normally would not have been. I was able to transfer that optimism to Steph and pull her up. She's done the same thing for me in other situations. An example of that was this summer when our car was broken into. I was so upset about it (amongst other things) and Steph pulled me up and over the pessimistic speed bump I was creating for myself. How fantastic is that! We just have this natural balancing act that we have achieved.

But how much better would it be if I asked for help, for example, in making sure I say my prayers every morning and night. I will admit that I don't always get it done. By asking Steph to help me make sure to get that done right I guarantee that it will also carry into her own life. As she reminds me to make sure I say my prayers she will have that reminder to say her's as well. (Not that she doesn't! Steph is on top of that.) This goes back to "Get over yourself and get under others".

The other thing that is important to remember is not to fault those we love. I love the lesson Christ taught about casting stones. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Sometimes I feel like I am carrying around a whole pocketful of stones to just start throwing when I see something wrong. But if I can't see past the end of my own nose the only person I am going to end up hitting with my stones is me. This is so hard to do because it is like a trait that everyone is born with. Most of the time that we fault others we don't even realize that we are doing it! We are so wrapped up in the wrong that's been done to us that we don't see how we are part of the problem. We don't step back to see how we could help the situation instead of making it worse. A line from a great song says "Will it make it easier on you now you've got someone to blame?" Does it make it easier on us? Initially, but that goes away really fast, and then we are left with more blame.

Maybe in seeing those who we love not being able to see past the end of their nose we are only limiting our own vision. Ask for help and offer help. Accept it and give it. By doing so we will achieve the unity that President Monson spoke to us about, and you know there is nothing better than being united with those you love most. There is a calming and holy feeling to being able to know that you are united in your cause, united in your battle, united in your love. This is a battle worth fighting for, and your's is a nose worth seeing past.

Get over yourself, get under others

2008-10-06T13:38:00.009-05:00

Listening to conference over the last few days I came away with a few different things, but they are all tied together through one phrase that I was thinking of - "Get over yourself, get under others". There was so much focus on love, service, and families at this conference. Not that there hasn't been before, but there seemed to be more a pleading this time to it. There were a lot of fantastic messages that were shared. One of my favorites was President Monson's talk on change. "The only thing in this world that is consistent is change." We can either fight against it and get run over or get behind it and help push it along. Life was meant for change. Children grow up, families grow, aged parents die... all these things are inevitable. There is no point in resisting these things because eventually you will be left behind by all those who embraced these changes. Are all changes good? Most certainly not! Are changes bad? Definitely not. What makes a change easier to handle and deal with? By simply counseling with the Lord. In Alma we read, "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day." How awesome is that! When these things come upon us take it to the Lord. Talk to him about it - He will lead you in the right direction. The other part to not forget about this scripture is to be thankful for that which the Lord has given you - including the changes.

We should strive more to serve others and stop being so concerned with ourselves. How hard is that to do? How often do you go through the day and think about something that affect you or your feeling? When we're concerned about ourselves too much, isn't that just pride getting in the way of our full potential? I will claim guilt to this. I do this often. It's my greatest stumbling block. How do we step over it? By serving others, as we have been counseled to do. Steph and I are moving in a few weeks and we hardly know any of our neighbors. We went to a block party earlier in the year, but that has been the most time we've spent with any of them. Could we have done better? Our own fears are what creates the labels that we are given. I'm afraid of talking to others that I don't know and that gives me the appearance of being standoffish. Do I consider myself that way? No, but it's hard for me to push past that fear. Most (not all!) of the problems that we face in life are created or caused by us. If you really think about that fact you will know it to be true. The things that make us comfortable, the things that we say, the offense that we choose to take... the list goes on. Knowing this doesn't make it any better, but at least knowing it is a step in the right direction. It's like in my classes at school - I always tell my students that it is okay to make a mistake while they are singing or playing an instrument, but they need to realize where the mistake was made, and then work really hard not to make the same mistake the next time that part of the song comes around. The same thing with life - when we know that our frailties are going to cause us to err and make a mistake we need to recognize where we did wrong so that the next time that situation comes along in life we can do it the right way instead.

A perfect example of that has taken place in my own life. I don't like to talk about it ever, but I was married once before. It was a mistake - a huge error on my part. When it ended I had learned from it. When Steph and I met I knew that we would get married, but I wasn't going to "sing the song wrong again". I learned, through my own suffering, and now I have the greatest gift that the Lord has ever blessed me with. The things that Stephanie does for me in my life are beyond words, but it wouldn't have happened without me doing two very important things - I counseled with the Lord in my doings, and recognized the corrections that I needed to make. Sometimes I wish I did a better job at remembering to do those two things when choices come along, because I still have the occasional struggle with my pride in making the right decision.

The third thing that I loved hearing about in conference was family. Especially some of the things that President Monson said. Families are forever. They are the central unit of our church and of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that in my past there have been times when I would have traded anything to be part of a family other than mine. Sometimes it is really hard to be part of that unit, but again, it boils down to getting over ourselves and getting under others. Do we serve members of our family as much as we do those outside of it? Do we consciously make the effort to go out of our way to serve, and in turn, love our family members more than anything else in the world? Make sure to give your child an extra hug or an extra "I love you". Tell your parents you love them when they least expect it. "Forgive me" are the second most important words a person can say to another behind, "I love you". There is no shame in saying those words. In fact, there is great glory in them.

I love how much conference makes me think about what I do that is wrong and what I can do to improve. There is so much work to do with myself and I can't wait to apply the things that I have learned. I am not expecting to get everything right the first time I try it - but hopefully I will fix those mistakes every time a new "verse" comes around. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true! It truly does make bad people good and good people better. I love the Savior and His perfect example. He showed us exactly how to love others, especially as he hung on the cross and uttered "Father, forgive them". I hope that someday I will have the ability to say and do the same thing. The Savior put it best, "As I have loved you, love one another". Love is fantastic. It is a healing balm that we so often overlook for our wounded souls. Remember to love. Remember to love as the Savior did. I'm grateful for this knowledge that the Spirit has testified of to me, and I say these things ever so humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Am I Good Enough?

2008-10-04T21:53:00.002-05:00

Tonight I was blessed with the wonderful opportunity of attending the Priesthood session of General Conference. I always look forward to going and hearing the wonderful words and council of our church leaders. It buoys me up and recharges my spirit. There are few things greater. As I was listening to President Eyring's talk he was mentioning how some of us wonder if we feel good enough to serve in the callings that we have been placed in. As those words fell from his lips the Spirit spoke to me through song and blessed me with a beautiful song to share with the world. There is no other explanation for what happened. The song came into my mind faster than I could write it down - words and melody. I continued to listen to the speakers as I wrote and I didn't even have to think about what I was writing. The drive home was too long because I couldn't wait to sit at the piano and play this beautiful new tune that I had been graced with. I sat at the piano and played it and was so overcome that I couldn't even sing the song all the way through. I've tried five times and I still can't! How magnificent the Lord is and how wonderful are his blessings. It will take some time for me to get the song recorded, but I can't wait to be able to share this with everyone. I believe that at one time or another we all feel this way. Here are the words:

Am I good enough to do all that is asked of me?
Am I strong enough to be who I know I should be?
Can I learn to lift up others as Christ would have me do?
Am I enough to do the things that I should do?

Am I good enough to hear the Spirit's tender voice?
Am I strong enough to always make the righteous choice?
Can I listen to the Savior and love his words so true?
Am I enough to do the things that I should do?

I know He is there
And He hears my prayers
He lifts me up when I begin to fall
And upon my knees
How He comforts me
I'll rise up and press onward to his call

I am good enough to serve the Lord with tenderness!
I am strong enough to stand for truth and righteousness!
I can walk in Jesus' footsteps as he would have me do!
I am enough to do the things that I should do!

I have a firm testimony that the Lord hears our prayers and answers them in ways that we somtimes don't expect. Before conference began I had been praying to hear what the Lord wanted me to hear. These are the words that I needed to hear, and I know that there are many more words that I will hear that will continually guide me in the footsteps of my Savior. I have a testimony that Christ lives and loves each and every one of us. He knows us by name. He knows what we need. I have a testimony that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth in these latter days and that there is a prophet on the earth that speaks with the Savior daily. What a wonderful time to be alive. How grateful I am for all the blessings and talents that I have received and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

A heart full of gratitude

2008-06-01T22:44:00.011-05:00

I just wanted to come bear my testimony again. I didn't take the opportunity to do so today in Sacrament meeting and I wish I would have. I feel completely blessed in my life. There are so many things that I am grateful for and I just can't remember all of them enough to write down. I will mention a few however.

I am grateful for the Lord in my life. He has guided me and protected me a great deal for my entire life. I have to acknowledge that. I know that his hand has been in all things in my and my little family's life, especially in the last few years. We've experienced a lot of many difficult trials that were really quite hard to deal with. The Lord has always been there when we've needed him most. He continually blesses us each and every day. We've been blessed a great deal since we moved here to Memphis. It was a hard decision to make - to move away from family, to go someplace we've never been, and pretty much, just flying blind. Of course the first thing that happened to us when we arrived was just another trial, but I believe that was Satan just trying to slow us down and sway us from the decision we made to move here. Once we got over that hump the blessings have flowed. My job is the greatest one I have ever had, we have been able to not have to go without as much as we used to, we have a fantastic ward filled with loving members and the Spirit always resides in our home. This last week I received my test scores for the big test that I took a month ago. Again, the Lord blessed me as I worked hard at studying for this test and I was able to pass it. I know that I would not have passed it without the Lord's guidance.

I am grateful for Stephanie. I often tell people about how when Steph and I first met I had a tongue ring in and black fingernail polish on and a shirt with something obscene on it. One look at me was enough to make her turn and run. Within a few days of meeting her I knew that she was the girl I wanted to kneel at an altar in temple with. She really saved me from my own self destruction. I've tried to help he understand that, but I'm not very good at explaining to her what she really did for me by simply coming into my life. Through the trials we've experienced she's always been my rock to lean on. When I feel like giving up she pushes me further than I thought I could go. I try to do the same for her in return as well. Our relationship is wonderful because we are each other's support. We've always been that way and do the best every day to try and build each other up to our celestial potential. Without Steph I would probably still be working at a gas station in Wyoming with no college degree and nothing to show for myself. Because of her I was able to step outside of the boundaries I had set for myself and finally feel like my life could actually matter to someone else. It's so cliche to use the phrase that she 'completed me', but anyone that knew me before Steph came along can completely understand that I was a lost soul without her. I love and dedicate my life to her and her happiness and will continue to do so through this earthly life and the eternities to come.

I am also so very grateful for my children. What a great joy it is to be a father! I have these two wonderful girls that light up my life each and every day. Whether it's Aleece begging to watch "the Indiana Jones with Willie" or Lainey picking up anything that looks like a phone and yelling "HELLO!" into it - there's not a day that goes by where I can't help but thank my Heavenly Father for these precious girls. I love watching them grow and develop. They learn so quickly. Aleece is such a good big sister to little Lainey Bug and I love watching the relationship that they have. In my Sunday School class today that I taught I mentioned how grateful I was for the opportunity to have my own children because it gives me a small insight as to how Heavenly Father feels about me. I also realize how proud I am and how much I love my children when they choose the right. Looking at that I realize how Heavenly Father feels when I choose the right as well.

Again, my heart is filled with a richness of gratitude and I cannot find all the words to express how full my heart is at this moment. It is full enough that I can't contain the tears. I have a perfect life. I have a knowledge and testimony of the gospel, of our Savior, of the prophet Joseph Smith, of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, of the priesthood and countless other things. How I wish I could express the fulness of my heart to every individual. I feel very much like Alma - "Oh that I were an angel"!

I hope that we can all reexamine our lives and really look at the things that matter. Look at what is being invested into the most in our lives. If it's not the right thing, change it. Invest in something that you can take with you from this life into the next. We can only get as much out of anything as what we put into it. For that reason I continue to turn to the Savior, and because of that the blessing continue to flow. There is not a day that goes by in which I literally do not see the hand of the Lord in my life. I love him, honor him and revere him as my Savior, my Redeemer, and my older brother. May we all turn our eyes towards him with hearts full of both gratitude and humility. He is the Light of the world and my Friend. I love him dearly and I humbly share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The mom at our house...

2008-05-12T15:16:00.000-05:00

I love both moms that I have now - my own and my mother-in-law. They are both fantastic people that have given me a lot in my life. They have both done so much for me and I hope they know how grateful I am for each of them. I want to talk about the mom at the house I live in now - Steph.

I know she's not my mom. I am not recognizing her for that. She deserves to be recognized for being the mom that she is. In today's corrupt world with it's sliding values, it's wonderful for me to know that my children are in an environment where they are safe and free from those influences. It's comforting to know that they are in a place that I don't have to worry about what they are doing. Stephanie takes such could care of influencing their lives for the better. Sometimes I feel like I come home and pollute the wonder she has done each day. She may agree with that herself some days, but it fantastic to know that she and I are working together to keep these little girls safe from the filth that lies at all of our doors.

In Memphis there is a big debate going on right now about choosing a new superintendent for the school district I work for. Last night on the news an email was read about it. The email said something along the lines that the school district in looking for a superintendent, not a superman. The responsibility for improving the quality of the children in the schools is with the parents. If parents took a more active role in their children's lives then things would be a whole lot different. Parents are carting off their children to places away from them so that they can have time to themselves. They are blaming teachers for not helping their children achieve good morals. A teacher cannot undo the damage that a selfish, uncaring parent has been inflicting for years.

Are my children perfect? Not by a long shot. Lainey has a problem with sharing right now and Aleece has a problem with listening to her parents. The great thing is that Steph recognizes these things and works with them everyday. I know that at times she feels like she is not making any progress, but I assure you, she is. She does a fabulous job with improving these little girls. Knowing how wonderful of a mom Stephanie is makes me not worry about bringing more children into the world, because I know that our children will always have a firm foundation and a polar star always guiding them in the right direction. When she is in need of wisdom for her children she turns to the gospel. She does a fantastic job teaching these girls about the gospel and our Savior. Nothing could please me more. No matter the outside influence, I know that these children will know what their mom expects of them and they will always work to make sure that they never break her heart. Leecy and Lainey love their mommy dearly. Lainey loves her so much that she even calls me Mommy. She just loves to always have a mommy around.

So while we all celebrate the beauty of our mothers I just want to celebrate the beauty of the mom I am around the most now. Stephanie works so hard at being the great mom that she is. It makes our home such a celestial place. I couldn't ask for a better companion in my life to walk hand in hand with through everything. I love her madly and want to make sure that she knows it, along with the rest of the world.

Thanks for the brilliant birthday!!

2008-03-16T21:28:00.001-05:00

This is long overdue but I just wanted to tell everyone thank you for sending the birthday gifts and birthday greetings! Patty and Eric - the Lennon book is wonderful. I am almost finished with it. Heidi and Tracy - Across the Universe is sheer genius and I love it, as I do the Nauvoo DVD and cash always comes in handy. Steph, Leecy, Lainey and baby brother Lennon - thanks for the candy and crossword books and the fancy new watch. Katchie - thanks for the internet birthday card. Mary, Trey and Jeff - thanks for the calls and text messages. Mom and Dad - thanks for the books and shirt. Tristi - thanks for the books as well. Chan and Jessica - thanks for the movie. My birthday was simply wonderful and I enjoyed every single minute of it!! Thanks to you all for making my birthdays so wonderful and enjoyable. I hope that everyone can have as great of birthdays I do! I love you all and am truly blessed to have each of you to call my family. Love to all!!!!

Aleece - my little angel

2008-02-24T21:35:00.000-06:00

I was so proud of Aleece today. In sacrament meeting the primary got up to sing "I Am a Child of God". Aleece was so excited to go up and do it. The minute that it was time for her to go up she started to head up there. She asked me to come with her for part of the way and then let me know that she could do it herself. She walked up there and stood right in the front row and sang her little heart out. She did a great job, smiling and singing. I could hear her voice very clearly above the other children's voices. Toward the end of the song she looked over and saw me and gave me a little wave with that bright smile and those big brown eyes. It made me tear up. I am so proud to be her father.

It made me think ahead in life about the other times that she will ask me to guide her part way and then let me know she can go the rest of the way on her own. I hope and pray that as her father I will be able to provide the care and comfort to her that she will need to continue on with talking the steps. This was a small moment today, singing in sacrament, but I look forward to stepping into a baptismal font with her smiling that same cute smile. That will be another day that my pride will beam. I look forward to the day she enters young women's, telling me she can do that on her own. And of course, the day that she waves to me in a sealing room as she walks in dressed in white to be sealed to her worthy young man for time and all eternity.

All of these thought confirm to me the joy there is in being a parent, and especially a father. Mothers have the hard job with raising children. There is no doubt of that in my mind. I sometimes think as a father that it's too easy for me to sit and watch the growth and development of our children. Stephanie does so much to make these girls who they are. More often then not I come home at the end of the day and probably destroy all of Steph's handiwork. I know that makes it hard on her, but she is such a good mom. There is no question about that. It was a role she was born to fill.

I hope that as a father I am being a good father. It's hard for me to know if I am because I feel as if I am a tough dad. Maybe I punish more than I should. Maybe I expect more than I should. I don't know if there is a right way to do it. I know there is a wrong way and I don't want to do that. I struggle every single day with wondering if what I do as a father is the best way. Somedays, like today, I know that I am doing a good thing. When Aleece asks me about Jesus and how much he loves her I know that something I have done has been right. When she tells me she wishes she could see Joseph Smith I know that I have done something right. She she tells me that she's going to miss President Hinckely because he was so nice I know I have done something right.

Of all things in my life, whether they be things of greatness and progress or my mistakes and follies in life I know one thing for sure - and it is that I love Aleece more than I should be allowed to as a father. She really is such a good girl. We have these great little talks at night when I take her to bed. It has become my job to take her into bed and read her a goodnight story. Sometimes we read and sometimes she asks me to tell her stories about when I was a little boy and sometimes she just asks me questions. Let me tell you - they are some great questions. She so smart and adorable and I wouldn't trade her for anything. And although she can get under my skin and rub me the wrong way I can't stay upset with her for long. She knows when I am upset and she'll come find me and throw her arms around my neck and tell me "Daddy, I love you sooo much!" and that is usually the end.

So I've realized why Heavenly Father wanted us to have our own children - so that we could be as happy as he is.

Building up my defenses

2008-02-17T08:12:00.000-06:00

I was reading the Book of Mormon this last week at work in the latter part of the book of Alma. Throughout this part of the book it talks continually about the wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites. I've always known that the reason these wars were spoken of so frequently was to show us the Nephite cycle - the Nephites being humble being blessed by the Lord for it, then pride creeping in to destroy them and having to be humbled again. It's amazing to see it happen time after time.

I always love reading about Moroni and the Title of Liberty. While I was reading through it this time I noticed how much was made mention of how Moroni had defences built up around the cities. All the cities were fortified to protect those within. There were high towers built and mounds of dirt built up around their bases with sharp poles put throughout the dirt. The people in the high towers were shielded from the Lamanites stones and arrows. When the Lamanites went to war against the Nephites they were afraid because the Nephites had great body armor on to protect themselves, while the Lamanites only had loinclothes. During the battles thousands of Lamanites are killed and few Nephites are even injured, but they received injuries on their legs where (get this!) there was no protection. So why was there so much of this made mention?

There was an experience at school that helped me realize why. In one of my kindergarten classes I had one boy accidently swing his arm back into another kid's eye. I saw the whole thing happen and it was an accident. The one whose eye was hurt immediately thought it was done on purpose and the other kid didn't even realize he had done it. I called them both over to me and we talked about what had happened and the one who had accidently hit immediately apologized once I suggested it and even gave the other kid a hug. They went back to the other children and we had class. At the end of class I had the two of them line up together at the front of the line so I could make sure they were okay with each other. We stood there for a minute waiting for the teacher to come pick them up. As we were standing there the kids were talking about different things and somehow got the subject of one of the Chucky movies (the evil little doll). The kid that got hit in the eye started to talk about a scene in the movie that was really inappropriate because it was of a sexual nature. I stopped the conversation, but as I was stopping it the kid that apologized for hitting told the other one that what he was talking about was nasty and walked away.

Thinking back about that situation later on that day I realized that one of those children had parents that had put up some sort of defenses around their home for protection and the other had not. One had built up mounds of dirt and was keeping a watchful eye for what was coming their way and the other had left itself vulnerable to the evils set to attack. Simply put - one was prepared and protected, the other was not.

In Memphis over the last few weeks there has been raging debates over school security. Sadly in the last two weeks there have been two seperate shooting incidents that have worried a lot of people. Neither of the shootings took place anywhere near my school, but they could have. Security at our school is pretty good, but our principal told us this last week to step it up a notch. She said she wants to take a proactive approach to our school's security and not a reactive approach. That's exactly what Moroni did.

A lot of people are starting to blame parents for the shootings and suggest that they should be responsible for their children. Some people think that is an awful thought. I know through modern revelation that I am responsible for my children through the way that I raise them. And the manner in which I raise them MUST be proactive and not reactive. I can't wait until they hurt someone at school and then teach them that it is wrong. I can't wait until they've used drugs and then point out that it is not right. I have to address these issues before they ever arise and make sure that they know which direction to run when they are confronted with the evils that society deems as acceptable.

So now I am looking at ways to build up the defenses around our home. Where can we put our lookout tower? How wide should our moat be? We need body armor, but we need to make sure that every area of our bodies are covered and not left defenseless. To top off all my thoughts the last week about creating protection and defences I came across something in my patriarchal blessing last night. "Place upon yourself the armor of the priesthood that you will be protected from the fiery darts of Satan." I've even received a personal warning to protect myself and I'm sure it extends to my family.

It would seem that with as much protection as any home would need these days it would take a lifetime to build it. All it is, however, are the teachings of the Savior. It may not seem like much, but his teachings are armor that can never be pierced and defenses that can never be breached. We always ask Aleece when she is doing something she shouldn't if she thinks that Jesus would do what she was doing. She always answers no because she knows the right answer. I'm sure we will continue that tradition with Lainey and our next child and even the ones after that. It may seem simple. In many ways it is, but by simply following the teachings of the Savior we can obtain so much and the blessings that we receive for do so will bring all the fortification that we need in today's world.

I have a testimony of all of this and it has been strengthened a great deal this last week. The Savior's teachings are so simple and easy to follow and the blessings that I have received as I've strived to work harder in the last few weeks have been tremendous. I feel happier and stronger, not only physically, mentally and spiritually. It's amazing how quickly and easily it works. There is still a long way to go, but I am seeing some results in working on lengthing my stride and standing a little taller. I love the Savior and am grateful for the protection that his teachings provide me and my family with. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I am grateful

2008-02-05T22:16:00.000-06:00

I don't know who all will read this. It's there for anyone to read, but please don't be offended by anything I write, seeing as how you have the choice to close the window if you don't like what is here. That's not meant to be hurtful - it's just fact. I won't be offended if you don't want to read, but please don't be offended if you do read.

As I sat and listened to President Hinckley's funeral on Saturday I was struck by a few things. One was that I am not as good a person as I can be. My brother, Chandler, called me during the funeral and said that I sounded sad. I said I wasn't - I was just looking at my life in comparison to President Hinckley's and seeing that I could be so much better. He said "Everyone can be better." He was right - but how many people actually try to be better, instead of just thinking about it. I could think about learning French all day, but until I try to learn it I'm not going to get very far. So now I am mentally and physically trying to do better each and every day. It's little things at first, like saying my prayers in the morning and reading my scriptures at school when I have a break. I hate mornings and have a difficult time staying awake to pray and when I have free time at school and a piano right next to me... Well, you get the picture. These new things are challenges, but I welcome them with open arms. I am hoping that I planting seeds that will sprout into bigger and better things after time. I am trying to be a more patient father and a more loving husband to my beautiful wife. And guess what? After I become better at those things I am going to try to be even better! There are no limits to what we as people can be.

Something else I thought about during President Hinckley's funeral was how my life has changed in the time that he has been prophet. He was ordained the prophet the day after my 19th birthday. From that day to the day of his death I have traveled roads I didn't know existed. Some were lonely, some were deadly and the road I am currently on is the most glorious and beautiful road I have ever known. His influence can be seen in most everything I did. He always talked about standing a little taller and lengthing our stride. I did not do that like I should have. Did I want to? Yes. Did I? No. Was I afraid to? Probably so, but no more. For some reason the fear has left me now and I truly have the desire to strive for the better and leave the petty behind.

I really want those who know me to know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The foundation for that has been built up by many different things. Today I want to share my love for President Hinckley and his wonderful example. I truly loved President Hinckley. He was such a steadfast example for me for the last 12 years. The way he lived his life tended to overshadow a lot of things in my life. When I was at my deepest and darkest I was somehow drawn to him and his strength. His words at the many conferences I attended were such a healing balm to me and my spiritual maladies. I listened to him and yet I couldn't tell you what he had talked about a week later, but when I needed a boost his words would coming flowing back into my mind to provide that rich comfort that only those who have felt before can truly understand. His six 'bees' could not have been more precious words than if the Savior himself had uttered them. His desire to put temples all over the world was such a blessing - especially for Stephanie and I. I know that Steph and I would have been sealed in any other temple when we decided to take that step, but to do it in the Nauvoo Temple was a treasure that was heaped upon the blessing I was already to receive when Stephanie came into my life. President Hinckley made that possible for us when the decision was made to have the Nauvoo Temple reconstructed. Our sealing is in the one corner of my mind that I visit each day to polish. It always will be. Of all the people that have lived during my life there is none greater to pattern my life after than that of Gordon B. Hinckley. He was my prophet and, unknowingly, my friend. My friend that I always looked forward to seeing every six months - to sit at his feet and learn how to be a better person, to learn how to be more in tune with the Spirit, to learn how to become closer to the Savior. Though he is gone and I already miss him dearly, I still have his words to look to again and again as a guide when I need him to help comfort me and strengthen me. I know that he was the Lord's prophet and that the Savior was there to welcome him on the other side, as well as his wife and all of the other prophets that went before him. What a grand welcoming party that must have been! I love President Hinckley and I wish that I could have done 'better' when he was alive, but because of him I am now doing better. I love the Savior and I know that President Hinckley was his prophet. I am so grateful for the Savior putting President Hinckley into all of our lives. I have a firm testimony of prophets being the Lord's anointed and I wanted to share that with all those that I could.

I humbly testify of all these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.