I am grateful

I don't know who all will read this. It's there for anyone to read, but please don't be offended by anything I write, seeing as how you have the choice to close the window if you don't like what is here. That's not meant to be hurtful - it's just fact. I won't be offended if you don't want to read, but please don't be offended if you do read.

As I sat and listened to President Hinckley's funeral on Saturday I was struck by a few things. One was that I am not as good a person as I can be. My brother, Chandler, called me during the funeral and said that I sounded sad. I said I wasn't - I was just looking at my life in comparison to President Hinckley's and seeing that I could be so much better. He said "Everyone can be better." He was right - but how many people actually try to be better, instead of just thinking about it. I could think about learning French all day, but until I try to learn it I'm not going to get very far. So now I am mentally and physically trying to do better each and every day. It's little things at first, like saying my prayers in the morning and reading my scriptures at school when I have a break. I hate mornings and have a difficult time staying awake to pray and when I have free time at school and a piano right next to me... Well, you get the picture. These new things are challenges, but I welcome them with open arms. I am hoping that I planting seeds that will sprout into bigger and better things after time. I am trying to be a more patient father and a more loving husband to my beautiful wife. And guess what? After I become better at those things I am going to try to be even better! There are no limits to what we as people can be.

Something else I thought about during President Hinckley's funeral was how my life has changed in the time that he has been prophet. He was ordained the prophet the day after my 19th birthday. From that day to the day of his death I have traveled roads I didn't know existed. Some were lonely, some were deadly and the road I am currently on is the most glorious and beautiful road I have ever known. His influence can be seen in most everything I did. He always talked about standing a little taller and lengthing our stride. I did not do that like I should have. Did I want to? Yes. Did I? No. Was I afraid to? Probably so, but no more. For some reason the fear has left me now and I truly have the desire to strive for the better and leave the petty behind.

I really want those who know me to know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The foundation for that has been built up by many different things. Today I want to share my love for President Hinckley and his wonderful example. I truly loved President Hinckley. He was such a steadfast example for me for the last 12 years. The way he lived his life tended to overshadow a lot of things in my life. When I was at my deepest and darkest I was somehow drawn to him and his strength. His words at the many conferences I attended were such a healing balm to me and my spiritual maladies. I listened to him and yet I couldn't tell you what he had talked about a week later, but when I needed a boost his words would coming flowing back into my mind to provide that rich comfort that only those who have felt before can truly understand. His six 'bees' could not have been more precious words than if the Savior himself had uttered them. His desire to put temples all over the world was such a blessing - especially for Stephanie and I. I know that Steph and I would have been sealed in any other temple when we decided to take that step, but to do it in the Nauvoo Temple was a treasure that was heaped upon the blessing I was already to receive when Stephanie came into my life. President Hinckley made that possible for us when the decision was made to have the Nauvoo Temple reconstructed. Our sealing is in the one corner of my mind that I visit each day to polish. It always will be. Of all the people that have lived during my life there is none greater to pattern my life after than that of Gordon B. Hinckley. He was my prophet and, unknowingly, my friend. My friend that I always looked forward to seeing every six months - to sit at his feet and learn how to be a better person, to learn how to be more in tune with the Spirit, to learn how to become closer to the Savior. Though he is gone and I already miss him dearly, I still have his words to look to again and again as a guide when I need him to help comfort me and strengthen me. I know that he was the Lord's prophet and that the Savior was there to welcome him on the other side, as well as his wife and all of the other prophets that went before him. What a grand welcoming party that must have been! I love President Hinckley and I wish that I could have done 'better' when he was alive, but because of him I am now doing better. I love the Savior and I know that President Hinckley was his prophet. I am so grateful for the Savior putting President Hinckley into all of our lives. I have a firm testimony of prophets being the Lord's anointed and I wanted to share that with all those that I could.

I humbly testify of all these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.