"Good. The Lord Needs You."

I was saddened at the end of my day on Tuesday to hear that Elder Wirthlin had passed away. It's strange to have all these great men move on to the next stage of life. Elder Wirthlin was sustained an apostle in the October conference following my birth. I just found that out this week. It put a new perspective on it for me that he's been an apostle for as long as I have been alive.

I had an opportunity to meet Elder Wirthlin once. About 12 years ago in Yuma, there was a Tri-Stake conference and he was the presiding authority there. I had just sent my mission papers in and was awaiting my call. I don't remember much about the conference except that I was singing in a special choir and we sang a wonderful arrangement of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief". I don't even remember what Elder Wirthlin said. After the conference was over he stood on the stand for a very long time to shake the hands of any of the members that came up to greet him. I hopped in line with one of my friend's younger brother, who was about 12 years old. Now we all know I'm short and I have a baby face. That was made very evident to me as this deacon and I approached Elder Wirthlin. A smile lit up his face and he said "Oh the deacons have come to see me!" I kind of laughed and said "He's a deacon, but I'm not. I just sent in my mission papers." He started to laugh pretty hard - harder than I thought apostles were allowed to laugh - and then he sobered up and grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eye and said "Good. The Lord needs you." We spoke for another few seconds and I moved on.

I've been thinking about that one comment from him. "The Lord needs you." That doesn't just apply to me as a missionary back in 1996. It applies to me now as a member missionary, a worthy husband, a loving father, an honest person... the list could go on. "The Lord needs you." It doesn't even strictly apply to me. It goes for everyone. In these latter days the Lord does need us. He needs us to stand up for the right things in a world that is saturated with evil. He needs us to push forth in honesty when the world thrives on lies and misleading others. He needs us to be examples of the Savior for those who have no idea how to be a decent person anymore because they never learned. He needs us to be charitable and kind in a world that values things of the earth more than the things of heaven. He needs us to be the good in a world that calls good evil and evil good.

We often think about how much we need the Lord, but we rarely think about how much the Lord needs us to push forth his work. It is easy to think sometimes that "The Lord will make it happen - whether I am involved or not". Maybe you are the one key person that will make that difference in a person's life by doing your home or visiting teaching, by teaching a lesson in Sunday School or by simply showing the pure love of Christ to a person who is down. We don't know what impact we will have on those around us by the small and simple things that we do, but remember - the Lord has us do those things for Him because He needs us to.

For the record, I need the Lord. I probably weary Him with my constant prayers for my wife, children, and extended family. There is not a day that goes by where I am not thinking about how much I need the Lord. There are very few days that go by with me thinking about how much the Lord needs me. Of all the words I ever heard Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin speak, the greatest lesson I ever learned from him was found in five simple words - "Good. The Lord needs you."

I have a firm testimony of the calling of Elder Wirthlin as an apostle of Jesus Christ. The Lord always calls those that He needs most, and I believe that with Elder Wirthlin. He was a fantastic man that will be sorely missed by me at the next General Conference. At the same time, I am excited to see who the Lord needs most to fill Elder Wirthlin's shoes. I know that whoever that man is will be called of God and be there to testify that Jesus is the Christ and that he lives. I love my Savior - especially during this time of year. My heart is filled with gratitude for the things I see around me. I love this Gospel and the truths found within it. This is the Lord's work. "No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing." It is so evident in everything we see. I leave this testimony of my Savior and of the lesson that I was taught many years ago, and I do so in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Tolerance...

I read this on a blog column (http://mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=4740) by the author Orson Scott Card a few weeks ago - "Tolerance implies disagreement -- it means that even though we don't agree with or approve of each others beliefs or actions, we can still live together amicably." He was writing about this regarding Proposition 8 in California. I thought that he said that in a very wise way. It saddens me to see and hear so much of what is going on in the aftermath of Proposition 8 being passed.


I am not normally one to get political. In fact, I cannot stand politics, but I do try to support our leaders and elected officials. I don't always agree with them and what they say, but that is one of the beauties of life. What I am writing about is not intended to be a political point of view. It is meant to be a human point of view. There is so much in the world today that everyone disagrees on - politics, religion, family values, what is wrong versus what is right... the list is endless. We all have been given the right to our opinions. That is part of our free agency that was granted to us by our Father in Heaven. We can think and act for ourselves... and disagree with others. There is nothing wrong with that! However, when the disagreement turns into something other than a disagreement - there is a problem.


I've read this last week about many LDS churches being vandalised throughout the country. I've read about protests going on outside of LDS churches and temples. I read today about a Book of Mormon that was found burning at a church in Littleton, Colorado. I watched a commercial on youtube that portrayed LDS missionaries in a very negative way. It's truly awful to hear about these things because they have gone beyond disagreeing. On the other side of the coin, if I heard about members of our church vandalising homes of those against Prop 8 or missionaries actually doing what was portrayed in the commercial shown in California, I would still think that was a terrible thing that I would not be supportive of because that would be taking it beyond the disagreement. There would be no tolerance in those instances. Negative attacks, no matter which side they came from, could not be something I would agree with.


There is a letter circulating the internet right now that was very educational for me. It prompted me to write this post. I am going to repost it here because I thought it was a very informative letter with verified facts in it. Believe it or not, I did research the numbers presented in this letter because I was not going to post something that was falsified.


I have friends that I grew up with that are gay. They are still my friends. They know that I don't agree with their lifestyle, just as I know they don't agree with mine. We understand that and don't let that come between us. It has always been that way and I'm sure that it will continue to be that way for us. We are (get ready!) tolerant of each other and our own personal views. That's the only way that we can be friends and not let our differences come between us. I have not and will not bash anyone and because of that I expect the same courtesy. I just don't have to agree and condone the things that I don't agree with. There are ways to get along without hate.

Again, this is not a hate post. I'm not bashing anyone at all. I'm just trying to make sense of some unsensible acts. As a member of the church I understand what it is like to be bashed and thrashed. My only hope is that all this negativity will end - that we can all learn that we can exist together in this country - this world - and not agree with each other, but respect each other.



Kevin Hamilton's Letter on Proposition 8 and the Mormon Church


Dear Friends,


In the aftermath of the recent election, we may find ourselves oddly on the defensive regarding our support for the Yes on Proposition 8 cause. Our young people have been especially subject to mean-spirited comments by high school friends and teachers. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We did nothing wrong. In fact, we did everything that a civic-minded American can and should do. I have put together a few facts that help me to appreciate our position better. For example:


1. Mormons make up less than 2 percent of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.Mormon voters were less than 5 percent of the yes vote.

2. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6 percent of the yes vote and 2.4 percent of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8.
7. African-Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70 percent of black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8.

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims -- all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or herself. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The church did not violate the principal of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States' Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof?" The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The church as always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak outon an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars and worse.

The fact is, we simply did what Americans do -- we spoke up, we campaigned and we voted.Hold your heads up high -- you did a great job on this most important cause. We will have more opportunities in the future to participate in our democratic process. Let's remember the lessons learned and do an even better job next time.

These are my personal opinions and thoughts; any errors are mine and in no way reflect official church policy or doctrine.


Thanks,
Kevin Hamilton

The Power of Prayer

On Saturday I was quite stressed. I had just started a new class at Union and the homework was piling up because we were going over the syllabus and finding out what were going to be doing. My lunch break for that class was going to be rough because I had to go home and get the girl's TV and the cable boxes to take over to the new house and get set up because the cable guy was coming over and Steph wasn't going to be able to get that stuff and the kids. I was also concerned about getting our stuff moved to the new house. I wanted to get us into it to sleep that night, but I had no plans with anyone to help move our beds and big items. I didn't think I was going to find anybody available that day because there were stake meetings all afternoon. As I was driving home during my lunch I said a quick prayer. I just asked Heavenly Father to please help us be able to get moved easily.
No sooner had I said amen then my phone rang. It was a local number that I didn't recognize. I normally don't answer my phone if I don't know who it is, but I felt prompted to answer it. It was Jason Fraley, a recent convert to our ward. He was calling to see if I needed help with my moving that day. Of course I said yes, and he and I moved about five truck loads over that afternoon and evening. He was a Godsend.
There are few times that we are given the opportunity to see the Lord work His miracles immediately. Most times He answers our prayers over a long period of time, and even then we don't fully recognize His hand in our lives. This was special for me because it was an immediate blessing. It was also special for me because it gave me an opportunity to teach Aleece about the power of prayer. It solidified her speaking part in the Primary program on Sunday - "I can pray to Heavenly Father anytime, anywhere. I can and so can you." She was able to see that her statement is so very true. It strengthened my testimony again of the power of prayer.
No matter where we are or what we are doing, we can pray to our Father in Heaven to guide us and comfort us in whatever we need. I've been able to use this in the past for everything from overcoming my emotional frailties to strengthening my faith to finding lost car keys or getting a flat tire fixed. Prayer is so important for us to utilize. "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings and he will direct thee for good." There is nothing too great or small to take before the Lord. I love being taught these principles everyday. It strengthens my testimony and strengthens my membership in the Lord's church. I hope that we can all rely on prayer. If you don't feel like praying, get on your knees and do it. If you haven't prayed for years don't make yourself miss out on the blessings of Heaven any longer. Praying will not hurt. It will take away the hurt.

Check out this website

Today I was reading an article on the Mormon Times about a photographer from Arizona that started a new project a few years ago on the life of the Savior. He takes live action pictures of different events in Christ's life. It is very moving and fills you with the Spirit. The website is www.reflectionsofchrist.org and I highly recommend it to anyone that needs or wants to have their testimony of the Savior strengthened. You have to register on the site to watch the videos, but that's no big deal. There are some fantastic shots on there that really got me teary. Some of the videos were great to watch too. There is a definite Spirit in this man's work and I hope it continues to work as a missionary tool.

What do you see?

Today in my classes I am having my students watch "Mary Poppins" because I have had a cold for the past week and I seriously cannot sing. Today while I was watching the movie I was realizing the fantastic lines and words of wisdom from the movie. The line that jumped out at me today was "Sometimes the people that we love most, through no fault of their own, can't see past the end of their nose." There were two things that struck me most about that phrase. The first was that it can happen to anyone, including those that we love most. The second was that, sometimes it happens to these people that we love most and they don't even know it.

That got me thinking - when we see this happening to those around us in life we should not be the one to point it out to them in a manner that is demeaning or negative. We need to help them understand in a loving manner BECAUSE we love them most. If we blame them in an unkind way then we are destroying the love that we have for that person. We are, in turn, not seeing past the end of OUR own noses. Isn't it funny how that works out? Usually the problems we see in others are the very problems that we are struggling to overcome ourselves. While this may seem like a difficult situation, I believe that this presents us with a great opportunity.

It is so hard to deal with something difficult on our own. The loss of a loved one, the addiction of a destructive vice, the lack of patience in your life, or shortcomings you make as a member of the church - these are all problems that are dealt with. It will be so much better to go through these with the help of our loved ones than on our own. Will it make it easier? Most certainly. One of the great things about the relationship that Steph and I have is that when one of us is struggling (and it's me more often than not!) the other one takes the reins and lifts the other up. When we were living in Utah and I lost my job it was really hard for Steph. She was pregnant with Lainey, worried about finances and insurance, and struggling. It was hard for me too, but for some reason I was blessed with the strength to be optimistic in a situation when I normally would not have been. I was able to transfer that optimism to Steph and pull her up. She's done the same thing for me in other situations. An example of that was this summer when our car was broken into. I was so upset about it (amongst other things) and Steph pulled me up and over the pessimistic speed bump I was creating for myself. How fantastic is that! We just have this natural balancing act that we have achieved.

But how much better would it be if I asked for help, for example, in making sure I say my prayers every morning and night. I will admit that I don't always get it done. By asking Steph to help me make sure to get that done right I guarantee that it will also carry into her own life. As she reminds me to make sure I say my prayers she will have that reminder to say her's as well. (Not that she doesn't! Steph is on top of that.) This goes back to "Get over yourself and get under others".

The other thing that is important to remember is not to fault those we love. I love the lesson Christ taught about casting stones. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Sometimes I feel like I am carrying around a whole pocketful of stones to just start throwing when I see something wrong. But if I can't see past the end of my own nose the only person I am going to end up hitting with my stones is me. This is so hard to do because it is like a trait that everyone is born with. Most of the time that we fault others we don't even realize that we are doing it! We are so wrapped up in the wrong that's been done to us that we don't see how we are part of the problem. We don't step back to see how we could help the situation instead of making it worse. A line from a great song says "Will it make it easier on you now you've got someone to blame?" Does it make it easier on us? Initially, but that goes away really fast, and then we are left with more blame.

Maybe in seeing those who we love not being able to see past the end of their nose we are only limiting our own vision. Ask for help and offer help. Accept it and give it. By doing so we will achieve the unity that President Monson spoke to us about, and you know there is nothing better than being united with those you love most. There is a calming and holy feeling to being able to know that you are united in your cause, united in your battle, united in your love. This is a battle worth fighting for, and your's is a nose worth seeing past.

Get over yourself, get under others

Listening to conference over the last few days I came away with a few different things, but they are all tied together through one phrase that I was thinking of - "Get over yourself, get under others". There was so much focus on love, service, and families at this conference. Not that there hasn't been before, but there seemed to be more a pleading this time to it. There were a lot of fantastic messages that were shared. One of my favorites was President Monson's talk on change. "The only thing in this world that is consistent is change." We can either fight against it and get run over or get behind it and help push it along. Life was meant for change. Children grow up, families grow, aged parents die... all these things are inevitable. There is no point in resisting these things because eventually you will be left behind by all those who embraced these changes. Are all changes good? Most certainly not! Are changes bad? Definitely not. What makes a change easier to handle and deal with? By simply counseling with the Lord. In Alma we read, "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day." How awesome is that! When these things come upon us take it to the Lord. Talk to him about it - He will lead you in the right direction. The other part to not forget about this scripture is to be thankful for that which the Lord has given you - including the changes.

We should strive more to serve others and stop being so concerned with ourselves. How hard is that to do? How often do you go through the day and think about something that affect you or your feeling? When we're concerned about ourselves too much, isn't that just pride getting in the way of our full potential? I will claim guilt to this. I do this often. It's my greatest stumbling block. How do we step over it? By serving others, as we have been counseled to do. Steph and I are moving in a few weeks and we hardly know any of our neighbors. We went to a block party earlier in the year, but that has been the most time we've spent with any of them. Could we have done better? Our own fears are what creates the labels that we are given. I'm afraid of talking to others that I don't know and that gives me the appearance of being standoffish. Do I consider myself that way? No, but it's hard for me to push past that fear. Most (not all!) of the problems that we face in life are created or caused by us. If you really think about that fact you will know it to be true. The things that make us comfortable, the things that we say, the offense that we choose to take... the list goes on. Knowing this doesn't make it any better, but at least knowing it is a step in the right direction. It's like in my classes at school - I always tell my students that it is okay to make a mistake while they are singing or playing an instrument, but they need to realize where the mistake was made, and then work really hard not to make the same mistake the next time that part of the song comes around. The same thing with life - when we know that our frailties are going to cause us to err and make a mistake we need to recognize where we did wrong so that the next time that situation comes along in life we can do it the right way instead.

A perfect example of that has taken place in my own life. I don't like to talk about it ever, but I was married once before. It was a mistake - a huge error on my part. When it ended I had learned from it. When Steph and I met I knew that we would get married, but I wasn't going to "sing the song wrong again". I learned, through my own suffering, and now I have the greatest gift that the Lord has ever blessed me with. The things that Stephanie does for me in my life are beyond words, but it wouldn't have happened without me doing two very important things - I counseled with the Lord in my doings, and recognized the corrections that I needed to make. Sometimes I wish I did a better job at remembering to do those two things when choices come along, because I still have the occasional struggle with my pride in making the right decision.

The third thing that I loved hearing about in conference was family. Especially some of the things that President Monson said. Families are forever. They are the central unit of our church and of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that in my past there have been times when I would have traded anything to be part of a family other than mine. Sometimes it is really hard to be part of that unit, but again, it boils down to getting over ourselves and getting under others. Do we serve members of our family as much as we do those outside of it? Do we consciously make the effort to go out of our way to serve, and in turn, love our family members more than anything else in the world? Make sure to give your child an extra hug or an extra "I love you". Tell your parents you love them when they least expect it. "Forgive me" are the second most important words a person can say to another behind, "I love you". There is no shame in saying those words. In fact, there is great glory in them.

I love how much conference makes me think about what I do that is wrong and what I can do to improve. There is so much work to do with myself and I can't wait to apply the things that I have learned. I am not expecting to get everything right the first time I try it - but hopefully I will fix those mistakes every time a new "verse" comes around. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true! It truly does make bad people good and good people better. I love the Savior and His perfect example. He showed us exactly how to love others, especially as he hung on the cross and uttered "Father, forgive them". I hope that someday I will have the ability to say and do the same thing. The Savior put it best, "As I have loved you, love one another". Love is fantastic. It is a healing balm that we so often overlook for our wounded souls. Remember to love. Remember to love as the Savior did. I'm grateful for this knowledge that the Spirit has testified of to me, and I say these things ever so humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Am I Good Enough?

Tonight I was blessed with the wonderful opportunity of attending the Priesthood session of General Conference. I always look forward to going and hearing the wonderful words and council of our church leaders. It buoys me up and recharges my spirit. There are few things greater. As I was listening to President Eyring's talk he was mentioning how some of us wonder if we feel good enough to serve in the callings that we have been placed in. As those words fell from his lips the Spirit spoke to me through song and blessed me with a beautiful song to share with the world. There is no other explanation for what happened. The song came into my mind faster than I could write it down - words and melody. I continued to listen to the speakers as I wrote and I didn't even have to think about what I was writing. The drive home was too long because I couldn't wait to sit at the piano and play this beautiful new tune that I had been graced with. I sat at the piano and played it and was so overcome that I couldn't even sing the song all the way through. I've tried five times and I still can't! How magnificent the Lord is and how wonderful are his blessings. It will take some time for me to get the song recorded, but I can't wait to be able to share this with everyone. I believe that at one time or another we all feel this way. Here are the words:


Am I good enough to do all that is asked of me?
Am I strong enough to be who I know I should be?
Can I learn to lift up others as Christ would have me do?
Am I enough to do the things that I should do?

Am I good enough to hear the Spirit's tender voice?
Am I strong enough to always make the righteous choice?
Can I listen to the Savior and love his words so true?
Am I enough to do the things that I should do?

I know He is there
And He hears my prayers
He lifts me up when I begin to fall
And upon my knees
How He comforts me
I'll rise up and press onward to his call

I am good enough to serve the Lord with tenderness!
I am strong enough to stand for truth and righteousness!
I can walk in Jesus' footsteps as he would have me do!
I am enough to do the things that I should do!


I have a firm testimony that the Lord hears our prayers and answers them in ways that we somtimes don't expect. Before conference began I had been praying to hear what the Lord wanted me to hear. These are the words that I needed to hear, and I know that there are many more words that I will hear that will continually guide me in the footsteps of my Savior. I have a testimony that Christ lives and loves each and every one of us. He knows us by name. He knows what we need. I have a testimony that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth in these latter days and that there is a prophet on the earth that speaks with the Savior daily. What a wonderful time to be alive. How grateful I am for all the blessings and talents that I have received and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

A heart full of gratitude

I just wanted to come bear my testimony again. I didn't take the opportunity to do so today in Sacrament meeting and I wish I would have. I feel completely blessed in my life. There are so many things that I am grateful for and I just can't remember all of them enough to write down. I will mention a few however.

I am grateful for the Lord in my life. He has guided me and protected me a great deal for my entire life. I have to acknowledge that. I know that his hand has been in all things in my and my little family's life, especially in the last few years. We've experienced a lot of many difficult trials that were really quite hard to deal with. The Lord has always been there when we've needed him most. He continually blesses us each and every day. We've been blessed a great deal since we moved here to Memphis. It was a hard decision to make - to move away from family, to go someplace we've never been, and pretty much, just flying blind. Of course the first thing that happened to us when we arrived was just another trial, but I believe that was Satan just trying to slow us down and sway us from the decision we made to move here. Once we got over that hump the blessings have flowed. My job is the greatest one I have ever had, we have been able to not have to go without as much as we used to, we have a fantastic ward filled with loving members and the Spirit always resides in our home. This last week I received my test scores for the big test that I took a month ago. Again, the Lord blessed me as I worked hard at studying for this test and I was able to pass it. I know that I would not have passed it without the Lord's guidance.

I am grateful for Stephanie. I often tell people about how when Steph and I first met I had a tongue ring in and black fingernail polish on and a shirt with something obscene on it. One look at me was enough to make her turn and run. Within a few days of meeting her I knew that she was the girl I wanted to kneel at an altar in temple with. She really saved me from my own self destruction. I've tried to help he understand that, but I'm not very good at explaining to her what she really did for me by simply coming into my life. Through the trials we've experienced she's always been my rock to lean on. When I feel like giving up she pushes me further than I thought I could go. I try to do the same for her in return as well. Our relationship is wonderful because we are each other's support. We've always been that way and do the best every day to try and build each other up to our celestial potential. Without Steph I would probably still be working at a gas station in Wyoming with no college degree and nothing to show for myself. Because of her I was able to step outside of the boundaries I had set for myself and finally feel like my life could actually matter to someone else. It's so cliche to use the phrase that she 'completed me', but anyone that knew me before Steph came along can completely understand that I was a lost soul without her. I love and dedicate my life to her and her happiness and will continue to do so through this earthly life and the eternities to come.

I am also so very grateful for my children. What a great joy it is to be a father! I have these two wonderful girls that light up my life each and every day. Whether it's Aleece begging to watch "the Indiana Jones with Willie" or Lainey picking up anything that looks like a phone and yelling "HELLO!" into it - there's not a day that goes by where I can't help but thank my Heavenly Father for these precious girls. I love watching them grow and develop. They learn so quickly. Aleece is such a good big sister to little Lainey Bug and I love watching the relationship that they have. In my Sunday School class today that I taught I mentioned how grateful I was for the opportunity to have my own children because it gives me a small insight as to how Heavenly Father feels about me. I also realize how proud I am and how much I love my children when they choose the right. Looking at that I realize how Heavenly Father feels when I choose the right as well.

Again, my heart is filled with a richness of gratitude and I cannot find all the words to express how full my heart is at this moment. It is full enough that I can't contain the tears. I have a perfect life. I have a knowledge and testimony of the gospel, of our Savior, of the prophet Joseph Smith, of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, of the priesthood and countless other things. How I wish I could express the fulness of my heart to every individual. I feel very much like Alma - "Oh that I were an angel"!

I hope that we can all reexamine our lives and really look at the things that matter. Look at what is being invested into the most in our lives. If it's not the right thing, change it. Invest in something that you can take with you from this life into the next. We can only get as much out of anything as what we put into it. For that reason I continue to turn to the Savior, and because of that the blessing continue to flow. There is not a day that goes by in which I literally do not see the hand of the Lord in my life. I love him, honor him and revere him as my Savior, my Redeemer, and my older brother. May we all turn our eyes towards him with hearts full of both gratitude and humility. He is the Light of the world and my Friend. I love him dearly and I humbly share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The mom at our house...

I love both moms that I have now - my own and my mother-in-law. They are both fantastic people that have given me a lot in my life. They have both done so much for me and I hope they know how grateful I am for each of them. I want to talk about the mom at the house I live in now - Steph.

I know she's not my mom. I am not recognizing her for that. She deserves to be recognized for being the mom that she is. In today's corrupt world with it's sliding values, it's wonderful for me to know that my children are in an environment where they are safe and free from those influences. It's comforting to know that they are in a place that I don't have to worry about what they are doing. Stephanie takes such could care of influencing their lives for the better. Sometimes I feel like I come home and pollute the wonder she has done each day. She may agree with that herself some days, but it fantastic to know that she and I are working together to keep these little girls safe from the filth that lies at all of our doors.

In Memphis there is a big debate going on right now about choosing a new superintendent for the school district I work for. Last night on the news an email was read about it. The email said something along the lines that the school district in looking for a superintendent, not a superman. The responsibility for improving the quality of the children in the schools is with the parents. If parents took a more active role in their children's lives then things would be a whole lot different. Parents are carting off their children to places away from them so that they can have time to themselves. They are blaming teachers for not helping their children achieve good morals. A teacher cannot undo the damage that a selfish, uncaring parent has been inflicting for years.

Are my children perfect? Not by a long shot. Lainey has a problem with sharing right now and Aleece has a problem with listening to her parents. The great thing is that Steph recognizes these things and works with them everyday. I know that at times she feels like she is not making any progress, but I assure you, she is. She does a fabulous job with improving these little girls. Knowing how wonderful of a mom Stephanie is makes me not worry about bringing more children into the world, because I know that our children will always have a firm foundation and a polar star always guiding them in the right direction. When she is in need of wisdom for her children she turns to the gospel. She does a fantastic job teaching these girls about the gospel and our Savior. Nothing could please me more. No matter the outside influence, I know that these children will know what their mom expects of them and they will always work to make sure that they never break her heart. Leecy and Lainey love their mommy dearly. Lainey loves her so much that she even calls me Mommy. She just loves to always have a mommy around.

So while we all celebrate the beauty of our mothers I just want to celebrate the beauty of the mom I am around the most now. Stephanie works so hard at being the great mom that she is. It makes our home such a celestial place. I couldn't ask for a better companion in my life to walk hand in hand with through everything. I love her madly and want to make sure that she knows it, along with the rest of the world.

Thanks for the brilliant birthday!!

This is long overdue but I just wanted to tell everyone thank you for sending the birthday gifts and birthday greetings! Patty and Eric - the Lennon book is wonderful. I am almost finished with it. Heidi and Tracy - Across the Universe is sheer genius and I love it, as I do the Nauvoo DVD and cash always comes in handy. Steph, Leecy, Lainey and baby brother Lennon - thanks for the candy and crossword books and the fancy new watch. Katchie - thanks for the internet birthday card. Mary, Trey and Jeff - thanks for the calls and text messages. Mom and Dad - thanks for the books and shirt. Tristi - thanks for the books as well. Chan and Jessica - thanks for the movie. My birthday was simply wonderful and I enjoyed every single minute of it!! Thanks to you all for making my birthdays so wonderful and enjoyable. I hope that everyone can have as great of birthdays I do! I love you all and am truly blessed to have each of you to call my family. Love to all!!!!

Aleece - my little angel

I was so proud of Aleece today. In sacrament meeting the primary got up to sing "I Am a Child of God". Aleece was so excited to go up and do it. The minute that it was time for her to go up she started to head up there. She asked me to come with her for part of the way and then let me know that she could do it herself. She walked up there and stood right in the front row and sang her little heart out. She did a great job, smiling and singing. I could hear her voice very clearly above the other children's voices. Toward the end of the song she looked over and saw me and gave me a little wave with that bright smile and those big brown eyes. It made me tear up. I am so proud to be her father.

It made me think ahead in life about the other times that she will ask me to guide her part way and then let me know she can go the rest of the way on her own. I hope and pray that as her father I will be able to provide the care and comfort to her that she will need to continue on with talking the steps. This was a small moment today, singing in sacrament, but I look forward to stepping into a baptismal font with her smiling that same cute smile. That will be another day that my pride will beam. I look forward to the day she enters young women's, telling me she can do that on her own. And of course, the day that she waves to me in a sealing room as she walks in dressed in white to be sealed to her worthy young man for time and all eternity.

All of these thought confirm to me the joy there is in being a parent, and especially a father. Mothers have the hard job with raising children. There is no doubt of that in my mind. I sometimes think as a father that it's too easy for me to sit and watch the growth and development of our children. Stephanie does so much to make these girls who they are. More often then not I come home at the end of the day and probably destroy all of Steph's handiwork. I know that makes it hard on her, but she is such a good mom. There is no question about that. It was a role she was born to fill.

I hope that as a father I am being a good father. It's hard for me to know if I am because I feel as if I am a tough dad. Maybe I punish more than I should. Maybe I expect more than I should. I don't know if there is a right way to do it. I know there is a wrong way and I don't want to do that. I struggle every single day with wondering if what I do as a father is the best way. Somedays, like today, I know that I am doing a good thing. When Aleece asks me about Jesus and how much he loves her I know that something I have done has been right. When she tells me she wishes she could see Joseph Smith I know that I have done something right. She she tells me that she's going to miss President Hinckely because he was so nice I know I have done something right.

Of all things in my life, whether they be things of greatness and progress or my mistakes and follies in life I know one thing for sure - and it is that I love Aleece more than I should be allowed to as a father. She really is such a good girl. We have these great little talks at night when I take her to bed. It has become my job to take her into bed and read her a goodnight story. Sometimes we read and sometimes she asks me to tell her stories about when I was a little boy and sometimes she just asks me questions. Let me tell you - they are some great questions. She so smart and adorable and I wouldn't trade her for anything. And although she can get under my skin and rub me the wrong way I can't stay upset with her for long. She knows when I am upset and she'll come find me and throw her arms around my neck and tell me "Daddy, I love you sooo much!" and that is usually the end.

So I've realized why Heavenly Father wanted us to have our own children - so that we could be as happy as he is.

Building up my defenses

I was reading the Book of Mormon this last week at work in the latter part of the book of Alma. Throughout this part of the book it talks continually about the wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites. I've always known that the reason these wars were spoken of so frequently was to show us the Nephite cycle - the Nephites being humble being blessed by the Lord for it, then pride creeping in to destroy them and having to be humbled again. It's amazing to see it happen time after time.

I always love reading about Moroni and the Title of Liberty. While I was reading through it this time I noticed how much was made mention of how Moroni had defences built up around the cities. All the cities were fortified to protect those within. There were high towers built and mounds of dirt built up around their bases with sharp poles put throughout the dirt. The people in the high towers were shielded from the Lamanites stones and arrows. When the Lamanites went to war against the Nephites they were afraid because the Nephites had great body armor on to protect themselves, while the Lamanites only had loinclothes. During the battles thousands of Lamanites are killed and few Nephites are even injured, but they received injuries on their legs where (get this!) there was no protection. So why was there so much of this made mention?

There was an experience at school that helped me realize why. In one of my kindergarten classes I had one boy accidently swing his arm back into another kid's eye. I saw the whole thing happen and it was an accident. The one whose eye was hurt immediately thought it was done on purpose and the other kid didn't even realize he had done it. I called them both over to me and we talked about what had happened and the one who had accidently hit immediately apologized once I suggested it and even gave the other kid a hug. They went back to the other children and we had class. At the end of class I had the two of them line up together at the front of the line so I could make sure they were okay with each other. We stood there for a minute waiting for the teacher to come pick them up. As we were standing there the kids were talking about different things and somehow got the subject of one of the Chucky movies (the evil little doll). The kid that got hit in the eye started to talk about a scene in the movie that was really inappropriate because it was of a sexual nature. I stopped the conversation, but as I was stopping it the kid that apologized for hitting told the other one that what he was talking about was nasty and walked away.

Thinking back about that situation later on that day I realized that one of those children had parents that had put up some sort of defenses around their home for protection and the other had not. One had built up mounds of dirt and was keeping a watchful eye for what was coming their way and the other had left itself vulnerable to the evils set to attack. Simply put - one was prepared and protected, the other was not.

In Memphis over the last few weeks there has been raging debates over school security. Sadly in the last two weeks there have been two seperate shooting incidents that have worried a lot of people. Neither of the shootings took place anywhere near my school, but they could have. Security at our school is pretty good, but our principal told us this last week to step it up a notch. She said she wants to take a proactive approach to our school's security and not a reactive approach. That's exactly what Moroni did.

A lot of people are starting to blame parents for the shootings and suggest that they should be responsible for their children. Some people think that is an awful thought. I know through modern revelation that I am responsible for my children through the way that I raise them. And the manner in which I raise them MUST be proactive and not reactive. I can't wait until they hurt someone at school and then teach them that it is wrong. I can't wait until they've used drugs and then point out that it is not right. I have to address these issues before they ever arise and make sure that they know which direction to run when they are confronted with the evils that society deems as acceptable.

So now I am looking at ways to build up the defenses around our home. Where can we put our lookout tower? How wide should our moat be? We need body armor, but we need to make sure that every area of our bodies are covered and not left defenseless. To top off all my thoughts the last week about creating protection and defences I came across something in my patriarchal blessing last night. "Place upon yourself the armor of the priesthood that you will be protected from the fiery darts of Satan." I've even received a personal warning to protect myself and I'm sure it extends to my family.

It would seem that with as much protection as any home would need these days it would take a lifetime to build it. All it is, however, are the teachings of the Savior. It may not seem like much, but his teachings are armor that can never be pierced and defenses that can never be breached. We always ask Aleece when she is doing something she shouldn't if she thinks that Jesus would do what she was doing. She always answers no because she knows the right answer. I'm sure we will continue that tradition with Lainey and our next child and even the ones after that. It may seem simple. In many ways it is, but by simply following the teachings of the Savior we can obtain so much and the blessings that we receive for do so will bring all the fortification that we need in today's world.

I have a testimony of all of this and it has been strengthened a great deal this last week. The Savior's teachings are so simple and easy to follow and the blessings that I have received as I've strived to work harder in the last few weeks have been tremendous. I feel happier and stronger, not only physically, mentally and spiritually. It's amazing how quickly and easily it works. There is still a long way to go, but I am seeing some results in working on lengthing my stride and standing a little taller. I love the Savior and am grateful for the protection that his teachings provide me and my family with. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I am grateful

I don't know who all will read this. It's there for anyone to read, but please don't be offended by anything I write, seeing as how you have the choice to close the window if you don't like what is here. That's not meant to be hurtful - it's just fact. I won't be offended if you don't want to read, but please don't be offended if you do read.

As I sat and listened to President Hinckley's funeral on Saturday I was struck by a few things. One was that I am not as good a person as I can be. My brother, Chandler, called me during the funeral and said that I sounded sad. I said I wasn't - I was just looking at my life in comparison to President Hinckley's and seeing that I could be so much better. He said "Everyone can be better." He was right - but how many people actually try to be better, instead of just thinking about it. I could think about learning French all day, but until I try to learn it I'm not going to get very far. So now I am mentally and physically trying to do better each and every day. It's little things at first, like saying my prayers in the morning and reading my scriptures at school when I have a break. I hate mornings and have a difficult time staying awake to pray and when I have free time at school and a piano right next to me... Well, you get the picture. These new things are challenges, but I welcome them with open arms. I am hoping that I planting seeds that will sprout into bigger and better things after time. I am trying to be a more patient father and a more loving husband to my beautiful wife. And guess what? After I become better at those things I am going to try to be even better! There are no limits to what we as people can be.

Something else I thought about during President Hinckley's funeral was how my life has changed in the time that he has been prophet. He was ordained the prophet the day after my 19th birthday. From that day to the day of his death I have traveled roads I didn't know existed. Some were lonely, some were deadly and the road I am currently on is the most glorious and beautiful road I have ever known. His influence can be seen in most everything I did. He always talked about standing a little taller and lengthing our stride. I did not do that like I should have. Did I want to? Yes. Did I? No. Was I afraid to? Probably so, but no more. For some reason the fear has left me now and I truly have the desire to strive for the better and leave the petty behind.

I really want those who know me to know that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The foundation for that has been built up by many different things. Today I want to share my love for President Hinckley and his wonderful example. I truly loved President Hinckley. He was such a steadfast example for me for the last 12 years. The way he lived his life tended to overshadow a lot of things in my life. When I was at my deepest and darkest I was somehow drawn to him and his strength. His words at the many conferences I attended were such a healing balm to me and my spiritual maladies. I listened to him and yet I couldn't tell you what he had talked about a week later, but when I needed a boost his words would coming flowing back into my mind to provide that rich comfort that only those who have felt before can truly understand. His six 'bees' could not have been more precious words than if the Savior himself had uttered them. His desire to put temples all over the world was such a blessing - especially for Stephanie and I. I know that Steph and I would have been sealed in any other temple when we decided to take that step, but to do it in the Nauvoo Temple was a treasure that was heaped upon the blessing I was already to receive when Stephanie came into my life. President Hinckley made that possible for us when the decision was made to have the Nauvoo Temple reconstructed. Our sealing is in the one corner of my mind that I visit each day to polish. It always will be. Of all the people that have lived during my life there is none greater to pattern my life after than that of Gordon B. Hinckley. He was my prophet and, unknowingly, my friend. My friend that I always looked forward to seeing every six months - to sit at his feet and learn how to be a better person, to learn how to be more in tune with the Spirit, to learn how to become closer to the Savior. Though he is gone and I already miss him dearly, I still have his words to look to again and again as a guide when I need him to help comfort me and strengthen me. I know that he was the Lord's prophet and that the Savior was there to welcome him on the other side, as well as his wife and all of the other prophets that went before him. What a grand welcoming party that must have been! I love President Hinckley and I wish that I could have done 'better' when he was alive, but because of him I am now doing better. I love the Savior and I know that President Hinckley was his prophet. I am so grateful for the Savior putting President Hinckley into all of our lives. I have a firm testimony of prophets being the Lord's anointed and I wanted to share that with all those that I could.

I humbly testify of all these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.